Summary: Nothing is fair for Christina Fall Smith. She grew up a Road Runner - a name the townspeople of Dickinson, New York gave to residents of mobile homes - her father is constantly consumed in his company, her mother is enveloped in her newfound popularity for being a sexy morning talk show host. But worst of all, at age thirteen, she fell in love with a homeless boy who abandoned her after three weeks of him endlessly feasting on Christina's lunchbox leftovers.
Four years later, Emerson Wallace is nothing but a pack of cigarettes, a head full of luscious black hair, and a strong voice: playing lead singer in his punk rock band for millions of fans worldwide. When Christina's mom interviews his band and Christina befriends the bassist, she is determined to confront Emerson about their history. But rather than collapsing at her feet and begging for redemption, Emerson does the exact opposite. Instead, he smugly gives her a nickname she will never forget.
"I am going to call you Knots. You're messy, annoying, hated, ugly, and always in my hair."
COVER: [10\10] the cover is intriguing and professionally done! This tells me you want people to click on KNOTS and read, not brush by it because of a dull and poorly made cover.
SUMMARY: [9\10] your summary/blurb is very well done. The first line draws me in: "Nothing is fair for Christina Fall Smith."
From there on we are introduced to our character with an unfair life - she lives in a trailer park, her mother is a lusted after talk show host, and she falls for a homeless boy who later ditches our poor Christina after eating her leftover lunch box meals. Your summary gives readers a surefire reason to read. It does it's job as a teaser for the rest of the story.
You end the blurb quite elegantly, with the homeless boy, now turned boy band lead vocalist giving his final verdict to Christina Smith: "I am going to call you Knots. You're messy, annoying, hated, ugly, and always in my hair."
Note; asking people to recommend your book before the novel even began isn't the most pleasant thing to read. This will deter readers, and to some, it seems like you're begging for reads. Also, emphasizing how the italics represent flashbacks seems extremely amatuer. Rather than doing that, please imply in your writing that we are being thrown into the past. Requiring new readers to remember what is what will make readers leave. Evolve your style, not your audience.
GRAMMAR: [8\10] you seem to misuse words frequently, and phrase things in a weird way. For example, the second sentence: "However, despite being an oblong, my mother still clothed me. . ." Child, what does that mean to be an oblong? I understand it means an object with a strange (oval like) shape, however it works as an adjective. Try maybe "However, despite being oblong shaped" otherwise it sounds awkward to read.
Field is spelled "i before e, except after c"
You have many run on sentences as well. Try to fragment your sentences.
Don't: "Following that, I would just take a left turn and there lies a mediocre playground that was always on it's last leg with the trailer park behind it."
Do: "Following the trail, I would just take a left. There was a mediocre playground in front of the trailer park, always on it's last leg."
PLOT: [8\10] I won't go super in depth for anyone hoping to read this, but as far as I can see, the plot is pretty solid. In fact, one reason I adore KNOTS is because Christina's situation reminds me of my very own story: being poor, parent gets a good job, and then suddenly you have dozens of opportunities at the tip of your fingers!
Christina starts out as poor, until her mother becomes the host of a popular talk show. While helping her mother one day, she sees the lead vocalist, Emerson Wallace, who is the young boy she shared her lunch with, before he disappeared and broke her heart. The rest of the story is telling her tale of catching up with Hot Topic advertisement, Emerson.
I actually became addicted to this story, so I urge anyone into an original tale to pick up this interesting read.
CHARACTERS: [9\10] In the beginning, Christina is presented as a rather observant person. She realizes quite young that she is a total different social status than Heath Graydon. They are found giving secretive smiles to one another, even checking their surroundings first. It's sad, but well written.
Christina earns my heart within the first chapter (prologue technically). She offers her leftovers from her lunch box to a homeless German boy, who lives ins some nearby fields. Instantly she is formulated into a kind, just characters. Also, the attention to detail, like insinuating that she was chubby because all her parents could afford was junk from the convenience store instantly added realism to the characters already deepening depth.
When Emerson kisses her cheek, it seems unrealistic, but I let it slide because I'm sure it's for dramatic effect.
OVERALL: [9\10] Your writing style is very metaphor based, and it's quite refreshing. At first I wasn't sure how your style suited the story, but the slight elegance with genuine emotions made me fall head first in love. The characters are very realistic, and Christina sparks resilience within the heart of the story. She's like her own Easter Lily.
