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Genre: Teen Fiction
Summary: Amber Williams was tortured and abused by her older brother, Taylor. Daxton, her former best friend finds this out through her diary, and decides she needs help, but, he finds out that this is harder than he thought because the girl he once knew changed from when he last saw her, then again when a girl called Skylar came into her life.
He questions her only to find out that she had been planning on changing her good girl ways a long time ago and that Skylar had indeed help been helping her. Soon he discovers that not only is Skylar changing her appearance, but also her behaviour by giving her, 'Bad Girl Lessons'. Determined to help her, he breaks his promise, and tells his parents, who, sends Amber to therapy. Dax thought this would change her, but, it only made her worse plus she won't let him in but something happens and someone (who will not be named right now) kidnaps her and takes her to the big boss, only for her to be saved by the two people she hates the most; Daxton and Taylor. What will happen when things and time change? Only time can tell.
Cover 3/10: Your cover is okay. It doesn't really relate to the true depth of and actuality of your story. Your story can be very dark at times and by just looking at your current cover readers wouldn't be prepared for the darker undertone. I suggest getting a more professionally made cover over at the Gradient Guild's cover shop.
Blurb/Description 5/10: Your blurb is well written, the only problem I have with it is that it is going in too many directions. You don't know exactly what your book is going to be about because there is entirely too much going on. Kidnapping, Torture, Behavior Shedding Lessons, and possibly a Love Interest? I suggest making your blurb more straightforward. Eliminate some of these elements and you'll be able to draw in more readers.
Grammar 5/10: You did a great job with your dialogue its honestly one of the best parts of your story. A huge part of character development is dialogue and knowing the right things to have your character say and you really hit the nail on the head with this, great job. Besides this, you do have some grammar and punctuation issues. Some of your sentences are run-on, but some of them aren't full either. This can really ruin the reading experience, I recommend getting an editor which Gradient Guild will be offering soon.
Plot 5/10: Like your blurb, your plot has entirely too many elements. There is too much going on and at times I found it hard to keep up. What's crazy about this though is that with each element (Kidnapping, Behavior Shedding, Torture, Love Interests) you write them so well on their own but when you add them all together it just doesn't work. Some of these elements are strong enough to stand on their own, when you try to add other things to them you make the story out of order and confusing. You have A LOT of good parts in your book, I suggest finding the best parts and playing on those; all the while keeping it simplistic.
Characters 10/10: You did an excellent job with developing characters. You get to see the cruelty of Taylor. The sweetness to Daxton. And the funny/sassy/somberness of Amber.
Overall 5/10: You had some good elements to this book. Great in fact, but if you try to do to much you can ruin everything. At times I felt that the book was teen fiction-y, the next it was extremely dark...like really dark. Most times with teen fiction, a little dark is always there, but with this book it almost horror-y at times. If there is too much going on the cross between these genres can be disastrous. Not saying that your book is disastrous because it's not, but sometimes simple is good. You have some really intriguing moments, play on them, make them yours.
I recommend this book for anyone looking for a good teen fiction/ thriller-horror-y read!
