The Disappearance of Dan Avidan (Series 2 Story 3: Collaboration)

To Be Missed or Not

TW: themes of self hatred and death

⁃ Danny's View -

Have you ever thought about how fragile life is? How easily it would be to throw yourself off the edge of a building and listen to the roaring of air as you plummet to your death?

I have.

Honestly; in these past few days I have thought about death more than ever.

The fact that I could easily suffocate myself with the pillow I was sleeping with.

How easy it would be to hang myself or just jump off a bridge to end it all.

But oddly something I craved, was also something I feared.

That somewhere deep down I could be dying of an illness or could get hit by a car tomorrow. That this life is a fragile as glass and could easily be cracked.

But I was easy to get to crack as well. The amount of times I had broken down and cried in the last few months has been absolutely ridiculous.

I couldn't count on one hand, or even two, how many times I've cried in just this shitty apartment in the week I have been here.

The amount of times I had been almost caught in public was starting to scare me. Could I ever be alone and actually live my life without people recognising me?

Would people forget about the Danny Sexbang character and move on? Or am I doomed to be stuck in LA forever and never able to leave and do something else?

My parents even started calling me, Debbie saying she saw the tweet and was worried. While Avi said he was worried as well, he just wanted to make sure I was okay.

I didn't know how to respond to them.

Of course I saw the tweet as well, I'm not "missing" Arin. I left on purpose.

I left to see if you guys would notice I was gone. What you guys would do if I actually cornered myself off from your lives and seemed to "disappear"?

Apparently it was taking a toll on everyone.

Arin's most recent tweet was extremely simple, "I Want Him Back."

The Game Grumps twitter had stopped being full of "shit posts" as Brian would call them, and now filled with updating news on my disappearance.

I figured Arin was referring to me but I wasn't entirely sure.

Maybe a family member conveniently died at the same time of my disappearance and they had already forgotten about me.

At least it would make leaving this pitiful town easier. It would make disappearing off the face of the Earth easier as well.

(Written by FallingInBlackPanic)