How It Happened

I'm not in love, but I could be

You don't see that I'm trying here with you, or maybe you do but don't care enough to do something about it. You say it's recent, trying to be together, talking, getting to know the other one and it is, however we've always had a thing for the other each other and that was old news. Maybe I'm complicated, nervous and naïve, I'm still learning along the way. You should know what you're getting yourself into but I'm scared that you'll leave if you do...

Don't get me wrong, if there isn't going to be something I will leave and if someone comes along the way, who makes me feel just as giddy I will try. Because I owe that to myself, to be more than the "other one", to be more than a "second dish you really like". But you don't see that what I want is you.

People say love can make you blind. I'm not in love, not even close. But the thing is, I know that I could, with you it could be as easy as getting dressed. I'm not usually this way, my feelings and I usually try to stay clear of one another and yet, I don't mind that I get a bit breathless when I talk to you, it's a bit embarrassing really.

I swear there are a handful of people who can give me this level of anxiety and guess who just figured out that you're part of this list? You once said that I never have nor will I ever wait for you. Yet you see me waiting for your say, for your decision, for you to not leave because what else am I to say? I left my intentions clear, it's your turn to either turn around and leave or stay, it reminds me a bit of chess. Maybe I'm more involved than I'm letting on, this shouldn't happen like this.