HOPE [빛] Season 1 - COMPLETED!!

14화

Jaemin: "Wait, what?" he chimed in from the side.
Hina: "Mind your own business, Jaemin-ah" she walled him. "Unnie, just what it is going on here?"
Koeun: "I asked manager-nim to replace me with Herin. I'm not ready to face the public yet"
Hina: "Unnie, that makes no sense whatsoever. Just last week, you and I were up all night talking about how exciting it's going to be"
Koeun: "I guess with the show being tomorrow, I'm finally feeling nervous..?"
Hina: "Don't tell me you're doing this because of---" but she stopped herself.
Koeun: "I'm not doing this because of anyone. It's my choice... and mine only"

Mark: "So you're just going to throw all of your hard work and effort away..." he walked into their conversation.
Jaemin: "Noona, think about it again. We can all figure out how to help Herin onto the show. You've been practicing so hard for this day"
Koeun: "No, I've thought about it already" she responded. "I've already talked to manager-nim as well" she told them.
Hina: "But unnie..." she pouted for the first time in forever. Hina wasn't the type to ever express any sort of aegyo ESPECIALLY in front of the boys.

Manager: "Alright, alright! Stop harassing Koeun. Everyone, go back to practicing" he instructed.
Koeun: "So...?" she asked for the results.
Manager: "So I talked to the higher ups and they were pretty vocal about the whole situation" he scratched his head in frustration.
Koeun: "Vocal as in..." she took her hands to make the angry-face gesture to which her manager nodded in response. "Mianhae manager-nim" she apologized for making things harder for their team manager.

Later in the evening, Koeun went into the locker room to switch clothes since she's been sweating all day in her sweats. Then she remembered that she had offered to help Mark clean the floor level until tomorrow's broadcast at least. Taking off her hat and bag while shoving everything back into the locker, she jogged her way back to the practice room.

Koeun: "Mark?" she called in. The lights were still on but the whole entire room was empty. "Mwoya, did they forget to lock up then?" she asked herself thinking maybe they all had left already.

As she turned around and closed the door behind her, she saw Mark walking towards her direction. "Yahhh" she expressed with a smile as she was happy to see him still in the building. "I thought you all left already" she chuckled lightly while nervously shoving her hands down her jogger pockets.

Mark: "You're still here?" he asked her in a boring tone as he avoided eye contact with her while passing her and heading back into the practice room.
Koeun: "Well, yeah... Remember I said I'd help you until tomorrow since tonight's the last night anyway?" she reminded him.
Mark: "No, that's alright. I got this. You go on ahead first" he responded to her, still not making eye contact.

Having known Mark for the longest time now, Koeun knew he wasn't being his usual self. She knew he was upset about her calling quits on the show last minute. She knew he had feelings for her too... or at least she sensed it... but why isn't he saying anything? Why is he confusing her with his actions? Why does he keep telling people he likes her as a friend but then his actions says otherwise? Just whyyyyyyyy???????

Annoyed with Mark's mood swings, she felt like she wanted to let out her feelings. But what if he tries to duck it again and ends up hurting her with empty words like "I like you as a friend"?

Koeun: "Yah... Mark-eu" she started to say.
Mark: "What?" he responded while tidying up his things.

She squeezed her fists in balls as hard as she could, to the point where her nails dug in her palms and made its marks. She didn't know if she wanted to proceed with her conversation... but she was tired of being confused... and besides, it's not like she's going to be seeing him again for the next few months since they'll be using different practice rooms starting tomorrow for the show.

Koeun: "Oh what the hell..." she finally muttered and mustered all the courage and back bone she had left in her. "YAHHH" she rose her voice. "Look at me!" she demanded.
Mark: "Mwo?" he glanced up at her, then back at his bag as he was still putting stuff away, and then back at her.
Koeun: "I SAID LOOK AT ME!!" she told him again except this time, she was ready to pounce on him if he wouldn't listen.

Mark stopped what he was doing, took a deep breath, stood up, and finally diverted all of his attention to Koeun. At this rate, she started stuttering and her hands were once again shaky.

Mark: "So what is it? You said you wanted me to look at you.." he looked at her with his tired eyes. Koeun, who was so eager a while ago suddenly couldn't speak anymore. She fidgeted and played with her fingers as she tried to keep a straight face.

Koeun: "I was just curious... I mean-- I've been wanting to know for quite a while now..." she started to say.
Mark: "Curious about what? What do you want to know?" he asked her, still confused at her nervous reaction.
Koeun: "I wanted to ask you... well, what I mean is... I was wondering if.. I mean not if, I meant t say I wanted to know,  I mean will you tell me... See, what I'm trying to get across here is..." but she couldn't find the courage she had mustered up a while ago.

Mark: "Yea, okay... know what now?" he was still looking at her but this time, it felt like he was paying more attention to her. It was as if he was waiting...
Koeun: "I was just wondering if..." she started to say again... "I was wondering where you wanted me to start cleaning first" she blew out a cover.
Mark: "I told you, don't worry about it" he went back to shoving his things into his bag.
Koeun: "But it's because of me too. You wouldn't have to be stuck in this situation if not for me..." she told him.
Mark: "I'm stuck in every situation BECAUSE of you" he startled her with his tone. "I'm tired of this, Eun-ah" he threw his towel in his gym bag and zipped it up. "I'm tired of not understanding why these things happen" he finally lowered his voice as he took a seat on one of the chairs.

Koeun: "What kinds of things?" she asked him in a soft voice, scared of what he may say next.
Mark: "Of these unexplained feelings... I'm happy one minute, then sad the next, then angry and frustrated.. I mean, I don't have to be. In fact, I could very well be content as I've always been but lately-- I don't know... I don't know what's going on with me lately..." he finished complaining to her.

Koeun: "And this is why I keep telling myself not to say anything..." she mumbled but loud enough for Mark to concern himself over with.
Mark : "What aren't you saying?" he looked up at her as she continued to stand near the door.
Koeun: "The more I wonder, the more I'll only get hurt..." she added.
Mark: "Wait, what are you talking about?" he asked as he was starting to get confused. "Hurt? Who hurt you? Why? Are you hurt anywhere?" he asked with concern as he quickly scanned her from head to toe in case she really was injured.

Koeun: "STOP IT!!" she yelled at him. Mark stood from his chair as he was shocked to see Koeun getting mad about something he wasn't understanding... or was it because he didn't want to understand it?

Mark: "Eun-ah..." he attempted to walk towards her but she immediately backed away the more.
Koeun: "Stop it, I said..." she avoided making any eye contact with him. "Why do I always have to be the one hurting?" she slowly shut her eyes in order to stop the tears that desperately want to trace down her cheeks.
Mark: "Who's... hurting you? Eun-ah, tell me..."
Koeun: "You don't understand..." she mumbled again, still with her eyes shut. "No, you won't understand..." she concluded... "ever....." she finished as she finally opened her eyes to look at him before heading out the door and slowly making her way back to the dormitory.