Welcome To My Life

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Erik sat quietly out by the lake. His legs were shin deep in the water and he leaned against the wooden post of the dock, a cigarette in hand. His mind continued to replay their conversation even though it had been a week ago. Why hadn't he told Charles no? Why hadn't he said it wouldn't be okay if Charles killed himself? Because he was a coward. He pressed the cigarette to his hand. Charles didn't talk to Logan, Scott, or Jean anymore. He heard the rumors. He hated them. Erik had saved him, not hurt him. Erik sighed softly and closed his eyes. He wondered if he'd be able to do anything to stop Charles from hurting himself. The day that they'd gone out had been wonderful. There had been no problems from either of them. He pressed the cigarette harder. Charles laid in bed in the cabin. He was alone. He didn't feel like doing anything. Erik didn't know if he'd ever loathed himself this much. Charles was planning on killing himself and Erik was just going to let it happen. He growled angrily. The burn wasn't enough. He headed back to the cabin. Charles crawled out of bed, and curled up in Erik's. He closed his eyes.

"Charles? Where's your blade?" Erik asked as he shut the door.

Charles looked up. "Huh?"

"Your blade," Erik repeated. "Where is it?"

"Why?"

"Just tell me."

"Not until you tell me why."

"No. you're going to fucking tell me, now," Erik snapped, his fist clenching. "Or I'll find it myself."

"You won't. Trust me."

Erik was breathing hard. "Fucking tell me, Charles!"

"I don't have one anymore."

"Yes you do, you had plenty," Erik replied. "Just give me one. I'll clean it after, I promise, just fucking give it to me!"

"You can't just clean it and let me use it after. I'll get all sorts of shit."

Erik was close to snapping. "Just let me use one!"

"No."

"It's not fair!" Erik turned, punching the wall. "I let you do all your shit! Why can't I do mine now?!"

"Because it's my stuff."

Erik glared at him. "Fuck you! The fucking cigarettes aren't getting the job done! I need something better... and you won't even fucking help me..."

Charles just laid there quietly.

"Fine," Erik snapped. He turned and walked back out the door, going to find something else to cure the incredible sense of self hatred he'd gotten. Charles crawled out of Erik's bed and back into his own. Erik took his anger out on a smaller kid who had 'looked at him the wrong way.' After leaving him unconscious, he turned and realized that a ton of people were watching. He met everyone's gaze, not even faltering. Charles closed his eyes and tried to sleep. Erik stalked past everyone and back to the dock. He stared at his own reflection. He couldn't stand it. Charles fell asleep slowly. Erik sat down again and stared into the water. Maybe he should go. Before he even had a chance to think about it, hands grabbed his arms and head, and shoved him underwater. Charles was asleep, oblivious as to what was going on. Erik hadn't taken into account that the kid had an older brother. And soon enough, his pain began to fade, and he felt relaxed. Charles woke up a short while later. He sighed and got up. Erik laid in the mud by the side of the lake. He was unconscious, the water had almost stopped him from breathing. Charles washed his face in the bathroom and sighed. His wrists were still wrapped in gauze; he couldn't cut for a while. The boys didn't bother dragging Erik back to camp. He couldn't breathe well, and his pulse was slow. He was probably going to die. He felt like he was. Charles didn't want to be alone. He pulled on a sweatshirt and headed out in search of Erik. Erik laid still. The side of his face was covered in mud. The water had risen just enough that it was almost covering his mouth and nose. He'd drown in his unconscious state. Charles walked for a while. He figured Erik would have wanted to be alone, so he didn't bother looking around the camp. The counselors were familiar with Erik's tactics to run off. They weren't going to get worried until around eight or nine at night. Erik remained motionless. Charles glanced at the lake and saw a body. He shivered, but curiosity got the best of him. He saw Erik, and panicked. Erik didn't move when Charles knelt next to him. He couldn't breathe. He was just waiting for the end. It was over. His mind was panicking at the lack of oxygen but he couldn't do anything about it. Charles had only seen CPR on television, but he knew he had to try. He moved quickly, adrenaline kicking in. It took a few minutes but eventually, Erik flinched. He coughed, water draining out of his mouth and nose. Charles helped him sit up so that he wouldn't swallow the water again. Erik coughed again, breathing hard and fast. His hands dug into the ground, and he felt like he was going to pass out.

"If I can't die, neither can you! Don't leave me, asshole!"

Erik coughed again, throwing up the water he'd swallowed. He groaned, falling back against Charles, his breaths shallow and quick, eyes closed.

Charles held him close. "Let's get you back to camp, okay?"

Erik managed a nod. He didn't say anything else. Charles stood slowly, pulling Erik with him. He hoisted him up and carried him to camp. Erik leaned against Charles heavily. He didn't say a word. He still couldn't breathe well. Charles got Erik to the nurse. He didn't leave his side. Erik was taken care of, and he passed out halfway through. Charles didn't move. He held Erik's hand and stayed with him. Erik woke up eventually and turned to look at Charles. "What are you doing?"

Charles frowned. "What?"

"You should be sleeping, cutie." Erik gave Charles' hand a small squeeze. "What are you doing up?"

"I can't sleep," Charles whispered.

"Huh...? Why not...?" Erik asked softly. He coughed quietly and sat up slowly.

"Lay down," Charles said.

Erik glanced at him. "Why can't you sleep...?"

"I worried about you..."

Erik closed his eyes and laid back down. "I'm alright..."

Charles frowned and stayed with him.

Erik squeezed his hand again. "Are you alright?"

Charles nodded. "Yeah."

"Good," Erik said quietly. "Go to sleep."

"Okay..." Charles didn't move.

Erik sighed softly, relaxing on the small bed. "Please..."

Charles nodded. "I will."

Erik nodded and fell back asleep. Charles laid his head on the bed next to Erik and drifted off.