The Boy in the Gray Hoodie

12...

I wasn’t in the lab anymore. Now I was standing outside in the dark, next to James’ car. Other vehicles were rushing by. One in particular switched on a pair of bright headlights and swerved toward me, blasting its horn and barreling in my direction with no intention of veering back onto the road.

Crying out, I threw my arms over my face, only to lower my arms again when I heard the steady rhythm of the windshield wipers moving back and forth. Glancing around I discovered I was in the front seat of the car. The windshield and the other windows were all intact. Reaching up, I felt where my forehead had been cut that night during the crash. There was nothing but smooth skin beneath my fingertips. Confused, I looked over and saw James glaring straight ahead, his mouth set in a tight line.

I wanted to ask him a question, but speaking became impossible as soon as I turned back toward the road and saw the girl in the green coat again. For a brief moment, I looked in her eyes and saw something I never meant to see. But then I closed my eyes.

I didn’t want to be here. I didn’t want to see this again. I knew what came next and I didn’t want to relive it.

The car flipping through the air and slamming nose-first into a tree. Broken glass, shattered rib, head against the dashboard. James whispering angrily in my ear, telling me to keep his secret, to keep my secret. And then the girl. She ran from me.

No, I didn’t want to watch it happen all over again. The first time had been enough. I just wanted to go to sleep. Or maybe I wanted to wake up.

Was I dreaming?

Was this real?

“I don’t want to see,” I uttered softly, the sound of my voice pulling me away from the scene I had been about to witness.

Slowly, I opened my eyes, relieved to discover that I was no longer in the car. Instead, I was in a place that I didn’t recognize—a place flooded with light streaming in through a window located next to the bed. Squinting, I saw James standing near the window, his back toward me.

“Are you awake yet?” he asked.

“…I’m awake,” I answered. My voice was raw and for a moment I was afraid that I wasn’t me. Where was my mirror, where was my reflection? I needed to look, to make sure that I was who I was supposed to be.

Isn’t that also what James had wanted to know? Who I was? Did anyone know? The thought twisted something inside of me and I decided to ignore it for now. I was already in too much pain—I couldn’t handle any more.

Wincing, I attempted to push the blankets off of my aching body. But I had little strength, and besides, it was cold in this room. I could feel some heat drifting in from under the closed door but it wasn’t enough to keep the chill from the air. Opening the door would have warmed it up right away, but I knew James wouldn’t do that. And I wasn’t going to ask.

“I’m not going to turn around yet. I want to say something first.” James told me slowly, tonelessly. “When you’re ready to pay attention, let me know.”

As I forced myself to sit up, the blankets fell away from my upper body. I saw a flash of skin and realized someone had taken my clothes. Heat rising to my cheeks, I pulled the blankets up awkwardly. I didn’t want James to see and be angry with me for not getting dressed. “I’m ready,” I told him finally.

He cleared his throat softly and I couldn’t tell if he was irritated with me or not. “There are people downstairs. The same ones from last night. Do you remember last night?”

I nodded, and then realized he couldn’t see me. “I remember,” I told him softly.

“They don’t know who you are, but they are letting us stay here with them,” James explained carefully. “They are being kind. So we have to return that kindness. Do you understand?”