Your Place Or Mine? BOOK VERSION (PUBLISHED BY VIVA PSICOM)

Chapter 24: Unexpected

I wonder, would it feel the same way if it was Vince? I've spent nights with him but we've never crossed the line. We had our own intimate moments but it was never like what Russell and I had. It has never felt this good. It was good actually, but with Russell, it's different. Every kiss was intense. When he kisses me, I can feel his desire. I can strongly feel that he wants me. 

I changed to a loose shirt after shower. It's thrity minutes past 7:00 am and my class starts at eight. I'm dead tired and still sleepy. So I went back to bed. I've decided not to attend my morning subjects. Matutulog muna ulit ako, tinatamad akong pumasok. 

Naalala ko ang mga sinabi ni Russell kagabi tungkol sa unang gabi na magkasama kami. I remembered some of the details, pero hindi ko na matandaan yung iba. Ganun pala ang nangyari. Nakakahiya kasi I initiated everything. Hindi pa kasi ako nalalasing nang ganun. At hindi ko ine-expect na hindi ako makakauwi that time. The last thing I remembered was nung pumasok ako sa kotse ko. 

First thing that came to my mind ay ang mga sinabi ni mommy nung malasing ako dati at muntik nang maaksidente. Two things could've happened to me that night. An accident. Or I could be dead. Kinilabutan naman ako dun. Pero, si Jess naman iba ang naisip, hindi siya pabor sa nangyari. Baka daw natagpuan na lang ako kung saan kung nagkataong masamang tao si Russell. 

And Russell also said something about fate. That it's something that will happen in the future beyond our control. We can't, almost always, change it. But sometimes, our own choices or the choices of those people around us can. 

 What happened between us that night, that was my fate. I chose to drink in that bar alone. If I stayed at home that night, it could've been different. And our parents having our marriage arranged, that was not my choice, but it changed my fate. Fate means something deeper to me, fate brought us back together. 

I smiled as I drifted to sleep. 

***  

Jess, were are you? Kanina ko pa siya tine-text, hindi man lang nagreply. Makapunta nga muna sa library. Maaga pa naman. I sneaked at the back door. Ayokong makita sina Mommy. Alam kong magtatanong yun kung ba't hindi na kami nakabalik ni Russell kagabi. Speaking of the devil, anong oras kaya umalis ito? Hans called at 5:00 am, which means he left earlier. 

Masakit pa rin ang katawan ko, pero kailangan kong pumasok. I have two major subjects this afternoon. 

"Haley." 

May tumawag sa akin.

 It's Jason. "Hi," bati ko sa kanya. 

Lumapit ito. 

"Pasensiya ka na, hindi na kami nakapagpaalam sa'yo kagabi. May practice pa kasi kami eh. Pero nagpaalam naman kami sa Mommy mo," paliwanag nito. 

May practice sila. Kaya siguro umalis sila Russell nang maaga. 

"It's okay. Sumakit kasi ang ulo ko kaya hindi na rin ako nakabalik sa party. By the way, thank you for coming," paliwanag ko. 

Ngumiti ito.

"Buti nakapasok ka pa. Sana nagpahinga ka na lang," sabi nito. 

Ngumiti rin ako sa kanya. 

"Actually, absent ako kaninang umaga. Kapapasok ko lang," paliwanag ko. 

Natigilian siya saglit. 

"Wala rin si Russell kanina sa practice. Itatanong ko nga dapat sa'yo kung nasaan siya," nagtatakang tumingin siya sa akin. 

Parang gusto niyang sabihing, "hindi ba't magkasama kayo?"

 "Really? Hindi ko rin alam eh," yun lang ang nasabi ko.