Random Gale Fic-Treeshot

Part One

“What was it like in Phantom Lord?” Levy asks suddenly, Gajeel visibly stiffened when she asked. “I- i mean if you don't want to tell me i understand-”

“Its.. Fine.. Depends on what you want to know short stuff.. Members? The master? Rules?” Gajeel sounded tired as he spoke, he hated thinking about that place. It made him feel an odd mixture of sick and fear.. Mixed with (no matter how much he hated himself for feeling like that) nostalgia. It was sickening how he had been while he was in Phantom Lord.

“O-oh um.. What did you think of it there..?”

Gajeel's expression darkens, he openes his mouth to speak, but bites his tongue, and seems to think for a moment, then he speaks.  “Hellish…. Wouldn't even begin to describe it… it was terrifying, but at the same time… enjoyable” he choked out that word. Disgusted with himself for thinking that “It was every man for himself really and.. To be perfectly honest I wasn't really in the right state of mind while I was there….” Even now, he was still struggling with abandonment issues. They weren't nearly as bad as before, he knew fairy tail wouldn't leave him, but that didn't stop the anxious thoughts that filled his mind sometimes. “Levy.. I... ” Gajeel looked pained as he spoke. “I was scared… but at the same time I was happy?" He paused for a moment.  "And.. And… and i enjoyed hurting others…” his eyes were shut tightly. He felt disgusted with himself for thinking that. “I was a sick bastard.. And… I enjoyed people fearing me.. And… and i liked how it felt to be in control of people…. What was wrong with me?!? Why did i enjoy it?!? Why was i like that? I was an ignorant stupid bastard!  I was so stupid… stupid STUPID STUPID STUPID.”

“Gajeel..” Levy murmured, putting her hand on his arm.

“And master Jose… he… he would force us to fight each other… the loser was sometimes killed in those fights.. A-and if we did anything to cross him he would…" Gajeel took a deep breath, then continued "one of the things he did was hang you by your feet from the ceiling and allow the members to do whatever they pleased to you.. Imagine being completely helpless and being at the mercy of people who you know hate you.. And he would do other things…  and- and- and- and once I bet against him in a fight and-” Gajeel gasped for breath, having not breathed that entire time. “He.. He.. He..” Gajeel was trembling. Levy had never seen him like this. So.. Worked up before. it was terrifying.

“Gajeel you don't need to go on.. I brought this up you don't have to contin-”

“I was 15 damnit.. I was so fucking young and he fucking…” Levy rubbed circles on his back, trying to calm him down “He took advantage of me and… and…”

“Gajeel…” Levy murmured, she had never seen this side of him before.

“Metalicana had just abandoned me a few months prior.. I was alone.. I was scared… I screamed for that fucking dragon to come save me until my throat was raw.. I was just a kid dammit… I didn't know any better… and he didn't.. Come...”

Levy gasped, Gajeel never spoke about the dragon. Ever. He was never this open about his past. Gajeel talked about anything and everything except Phantom Lord.. And now she knew why. She was about to speak but Gajeel kept talking

“Once I was stabbed because I bumped a guy's table… the man cracked the bottle over my head then stabbed me in the gut.. I nearly died that day.. I was laying on the floor of the guild hall.. Bleeding.. No one stopped... Some kicked me, other laughed. They didn't care that a 16 year old kid was bleeding out on the floor… If it wasn't for Juvia…. I.. I would be dead dammit... She was the first person to ever show me kindness in years… I had forgotten what it was like.. She was so nice and I just kept pushing her away because I was scared.. I was scared that she would abandon me like that fucking dragon did… but she kept trying… she kept being nice… and I kept pushing her away…” Gajeel’s voice was little more than a whisper now. “I was so scared I was going to be hurt that one day I just yelled at her to leave me alone and that I didn't want her company.. And she did… she stopped talking to me.. And that was the thing that broke me.. I turned into a monster… I just wanted others to feel like I did… lonely.. Abandoned… broken… and I was so wrong… I was so horrible…. I don't deserve you.. I don't deserve anyone..” he looked so close to tears, his eyes bloodshot and puffy. His voice wavering as he spoke “Everything past that points a blur really… i don't… really want to remember it anyway..” Gajeel took a moment to breath, his hand finding Levy’s. While a slight blush crept up her face, she kept her cool. She was about to speak when Gajeel started again “and…” he took a deep breath “and i remember there was a rule.. That if you were granted mercy in a fight than you were worthless.. A plight to the guild…  There was a boy… he couldn't have been much older than Wendy is… There was a guild.. They didn't kill him… So Jose did.. And he just slaughtered the boy like he was some form of entertainment… livestock even” Gajeel was crying now, tears flowing out of his eyes. He could feel the walls he had built up crumbling. “He was just a kid.. Just a fucking kid.. and then we were attacking fairy tail and Natsu asked if Metalicana had disappeared July 7th X777… and I just broke… I just broke… I shattered like a glass because it wasn't a coincidence that they disappeared together… I spent YEARS hating him.. And it wasn't his fault he left- and- and- then Juvia came to see me… and she saw how much of a disaster I was… She… she still cared… even after... Even after I yelled at her.. She still bothered with me.. And you… you forgave me even after…” Levy didn't like where this was going “That night I hurt you… what I did.. Was unforgivable… Im sorry… im so sorry…. I'm so so sorry… I hurt you.. And I enjoyed doing it.. What the fuck was wrong with me.. What kind of.. Of monster does that!?! I was an idiot.. A stupid fucking idiot who deserves to die for what he did..” And suddenly, Levy was very worried. ‘'Deserves to die’ what was he talking about? “I… i'm so sorry…. Why did you forgive me.. I don't deserve you… I hurt you.. I… I... ” Gajeel was having trouble forcing words out of his mouth. He was trembling, But despite that, despite everything, she hugged him. Cutting off his darkening train of thought.

“Shhh… you don't need to go on.. Shh… I forgave you long ago Gajeel.. ” Gajeel pulled her closer into a bear hug, and just started sobbing. He had bottled up this shit for years, and he finally had imploded.

Levy felt guilty, she had brought up phantom lord, Gajeel was always so… Gajeel. And now he was crying. Because she had asked a stupid question.

“M’sor-”

“Shhhh….” Levy rubbed his back gently. She thought about what he said, and was surprised that she was angry. Angry at the world for hurting Gajeel. Angry at Jose. His breaths were quick and uneven, she felt his tears soaking through her shirt… At least she hoped they were tears...

“Breath Gajeel.. Shhh…. It's okay…. It's okay now… i forgive you… Shhh… shhh…..”

Gajeel was crushing her he was hugging her so tight, but she didn't mind. The dragon slayer needed this, he had held this in for nearly a forth of his life. He neeeded to get it out of his system.

There was a knock at the door suddenly. Levy cursed there bad timing. She suddenly remembered that Jet and Droy were planning on stopping by for dinner, she had completely forgotten.