forgive

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"You should come"kei saids getting dress

"Maybe later"

"You been saying that shit for like four months now it's the last week of school"

Kei's right I haven't been to school I'm too scared everybody seen that video of momma beating my ass I barely like coming out the house so school wasn't in my mind.

"Damn I just don't feel like going"

Kei sucks his teeth and walks out leaving.I rolls over and start rubbing my belly I'm five months now my stomach big as hell

I'm still wondering about who's baby it is.Lei doesn't really bring it up and I'm happy for that I feel love for the child.But I cant raise it if remains me about what happen to me.I just pray that it finds a family who will loved it better than I ever can.

I don't really do anything all day I just clean cook and watch tv.

I miss Maddy I think to myself like maybe it's my fault that I over reacted.I should say sorry

I pick up and send her a message

Mavis-hey I know it's been a long time I just wanted that I'm sorry I know you were just looking out for me and i overreacted I hope we can meet up before you leave for college

I throw my phone back on the bed and rest my head .thinking about what should I do next with my life I'm not going but to school so I'm probably not going to college I have no friends.I sit up and think and ideas start to rush in

I don't want anything holding me back and one of those is my mother i think am going to forgive her .

She has her count date in September but she is in jail tell then.I take a bath get dress grab a twenty kei left and walk out.

*at the prison*

I sit down and look at my mother as she walks in and picks up the phone.

"What the hell do you what"

"I came here to talk"

"About how your bitch ass got my sitting in a jail cell"

"You put your self here"

"Stop fucking lieing I know you hoe ass open you legs for him and you got the nerve to have his baby or is it that other nigga baby... oh you thought I didn't know he would sneak in house and stay the night you should learn to lock the door "

"You ain't shit why the hell would I lie momma don't you know I think about it everyday I can't get it out my mind I don't even go school know more and the only reason I'm alive is because I actually get a Damn about my children"

"Stup the fuck up I do care about my children"

I laugh"you don't the only reason you care about my sister is because she is light skin do you even see something other than her skin complexion "

"Dont sit here on a high horse like that baby might be a bright almost damn white nigga baby you know damn well you don't want no dark baby"

I sit for a second and look at my mother and saw me a dark skin black woman who was hurt so much for the color of her skin that they began doing the same thing .And tears rush down my eyes thinking that one of reason that I would gave my baby away was because of they might be dark skin.

"Why you crying for"

"You right about what you said I was planning to gave the baby away if it was Charles baby because it might dark saying it out loud I can't believe it...momma if it Charles baby I'm teaching it that black is beauty and that it's bless for being darksin and if it kei's I don't care if dark, brown, light I'm teaching it that they shouldn't judge someone for being darker than them because we're all perfect in god eyes"

"You a motherfuckin poet now get the hell out with that Bullshit and tell my daughter to answer my calls"

I shake my head and stand up

"I forgive and wish you the best"

I leave there it feel like a weight has been came off I look my was dark Brown skin and smile its sparkling

"Pretty"

I rub my stomach when and wait for my bus after a while the bus came and i jump in and my phone rang.

Maddy-hey I forgive you can to my house when schools over

I smile and look outside the widow it's a new begging for me

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