Jihad, as it is understood by Muslims, is primarily the struggle within oneself to fight against sin to stay on the right path. Now, this fight, for converts, is I believe, a harder one. We've already got damage and sin built upon our conscience, even when the Shahada washed it away from our spirits. This is addressed to primarily Western converts because we have a unique psychological problem. Our problem is hiding. Even those of us who talk about everything to everyone are hiding somehow. We're hiding behind our filters and our lies we tell everyone about how happy we are.
Underneath that we all know how messed up we are, but we don't want to face up to ourselves. I'm sorry honey, but that's a part of what Islam is about. You need to duel it out with yourself.
I'm not even talking from experience here. I still haven't gathered up the courage to look at myself for who I am. I pray for that courage someday though. The strength to look at my entire personality and understand what I am. That's the plunge you have to take though. Have strength, pray as often as you can, and insha'allah you will get that strength.
I love you all, stay strong.
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Tips and Prayers for Young Muslim Converts
SpiritualA work written by a convert to Islam, for converts to Islam, cataloguing my struggles with the faith and prayers I say in different situations I have been in.
