Suppression (boyxboy)

Chapter 1 every day

I wake up everyday to the same painful feeling in my heart. My heart yearns for truth and comfort. Truth and comfort never came. People always say I'm weird and I'm annoying. They say I have an annoying voice because I sound like a girl and it's to high pitched. I get shoved into lockers often. I get called names more often then not. I don't have that many friends. My home life isn't that great either.

The thing is I know there's a reason why they do this, it's because I'm gay, and that's just wrong, but the thing is I'm not even out of the closet yet. This is why I still haven't come out yet because I can't imagine how bad it would be if they had proof I was gay or knew I was gay.

The only person who knows I'm gay is my step dad. I thought I could trust him; I couldn't, he tricked me. I've known I was gay ever since I met my best friend in the fifth grade and my feelings for him now in 10th grade are quadruple of what they were. My mom divorced my dad when I was 11 and married my step dad when I was 13.

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I woke up with a bad taste in my mouth; god I hate my retainer. I got up and opened my door I had to walk across a hallway that opened into the living room about six feet away to the bathroom. I was in my underwear, as I walked to the bathroom I could see my step dad staring at me rubbing his chin. I shivered.

I looked in the mirror at myself, pitiful. I looked at my eyes a sad blue grey color, you could see my pain and hurt in them. My face was round, I had blonde hair that was darker at the roots like my moms, and my lips were pink and somewhat puffy. There was a hint of pink sparkles smeared to the side of my lips. My eyes went farther down to see my body, a slight build a nice butt, but I wasn't that cute I had my flaws, and the clothes I wore didn't really flatter my figure. I felt my eyes become sadder as I saw the bruises. They were in the shape of what looked like hands and they were right above my hips the shapes of thumbs in the front. I shed a tear and it fell to the floor shattering along with my self worth.

I took my retainer out and put it in its case, and I got into the shower with the hope that the water would wash away my pain, and when I say pain I mean emotional and physical; I could still feel the pain from last night.

I got my shampoo to wash my hair and when I put my hands in my hair to wash it a bobby-pin fell out and clinked on the floor of the tub. I looked at it for a second and kicked it down the drain angrily and started to cry while I washed my hair. I must've forgotten to take the pin out last night.

When I lathered my body with the bar soap I would be reminded of the awful pain of last night; of every night every time my hands felt the sore bruises above my hips.

I opened the shower curtain and grabbed the towel quickly to dry off I tried not to see myself in the mirror I was a disgrace.

When I opened the door to the hallway with my towel wrapped around my waist I saw my step dad leaning on the wall next to my door. I tried to ignore him briskly walking to my door to open it. But before I could he grabbed me by the hair. "You were in there quite a while now weren't you Kirby." He looked at my face that was twisted with discomfort due to him pulling my hair and wiggled his eyebrows inappropriately. "What were you doing that could take so long? Your a dirty boy Kirby. Thinking of last night weren't you Kirby?"

I pulled his hand off my hair and opened my door quickly, but he yanked my towel off causing me to spin and fall on my ass facing the open doorway naked. He looked at me with lusting eyes."I have to go to work now Kirby, but I'll uh see you after school." He winked at me causing me to shiver. "Oh and make sure your wig doesn't get messed up... I bought it just for you." He winked again. Another shiver.

I looked towards the back of my small room there was my blonde wig that my step dad made me wear half of the time we were having bonding time, that's what he called it when talking to my mom, but she knew what it really was. She was to drunk to care. She wasn't like that before she married my step dad; of course she also didn't used to be high on meds all the time before she met my stepdad.