Vignette

A Girl Who Lost Her Memory

I've been staring at her since the moment that she entered this four sided room and I can't hide the guilt that I use feel when seeing those scars that she hides behind her hair.

"Stop fantasizing, You're not my type. Anyway." She uttered for the very first time on this day. Oh Gosh, I miss her voice,I miss her face and I miss everything about her. If I could only hug her at this very moment, I will. But that doesn't make sense anyway cause she don't remember me. She doesn't even know my name and she neither recognize me after that tragedy happened.
How I wish I could delete those memories in my head. How I wish it never happened.

Let's go back to the very first time that we met each other.

"Let's break up." I heard a man's voice while I was passing at the park. I walked slower than lately just to hear their conversation. weird right? Haha. You might be saying that I should get a life and let them be. But sorry,I'll just return those words to you. Get A life and let me be haha. The man ran away without looking back at the girl who's completely got wet by the continuous rain. I looked at her. Just a look at her will make you think that she's really devastated. I walked closer to her and offer her my umbrella.
"you'll get sick if you keep on standing here." She cried even more harder than lately. She hugged me despite of the fact that We're still strangers to each other. "Am I that hard to love?" She asked. I don't know how to respond to that question cause I don't even know her. "Every girl is worthy to be loved. I live very nearby. Would you mind letting this rain tame and have a hot choco at our little mansion? My mom is good at making hot choco." Without any doubt, she came with me. My mom let her use her old clothes and made her a cup of delicious Choco. After that, I sit beside her and ask her some questions. "Hey Clair,The rain is over. Your parents might be worrying about you right now. Would you want me to send you home?" I asked her. You might be thinking about where the hell did I knew her name. But to tell you honestly, she's a bit popular at our school. "They're out of country, I'll go home whenever I feel like going." It stabbed me. She's a literal meanie. A savage,imbecile Woman with a devilish glare.
Since she's really stubborn, I lead her to the guest room so that she could rest there for that night. While I'm walking, I can't fight that awkwardness that's currently giving me goosebumps.

And that's the day I met her. Remembering those times is like a nightmare to me. Sometimes, I just want to disappear and forget everything. That night, that night when I left her crying. That night when I said goodbye even when the truth is I don't really intend to do so.

"Flashback
"Drei! Please stay." She pleaded me but I never dared to look back.
I headed inside the airport leaving her devastated. I'm on the verge of crying but since I don't want her to see my pain, I forced myself to stay in control.

At the plane, I can't stop thinking about her. I can't stop thinking about how did The thought of leaving her crossed my mind. Yeah I have goals and this tour is probably the portal for me to get to my goals so I made the choice of leaving her and chose to follow my passion.

After a few days of leaving her, I received a phone call saying that She was at the hospital. After the phone call ended, I cried. Blaming myself for what happened to her. Maybe If I stayed, This will not happen. But what happened was already done. We can't change it already.

End of Flashback.

Now, I'm standing at the rooftop, looking at the view of the whole city when I heard a girl's sob. As I looked at the direction of that Sob, I saw her. I saw her reading her pink polka dots diary while her face was completely soaking with tears. I walked closer to her.

"Is that you? Did you left me before? Why? Why can't I recall those times? Even if I read my diary for so many times, I still can't picture out the two of us together. Why?"

Of all those questions of hers, I can't answer any of them. I can't fight the guilt that's running to my veins. All I can do at this very moment is to walk away and ignore her sobs. Sorry Clair, I can't go back to your circles and tear you apart for the second time.  I love you but I just can't bare to see you hurting that's why I'm leaving.