lung bouquet | j.jk + p.jm ✓

chapter one

jimin pounds his chest with his fist, struggling to cough up the flowers that have gotten stuck in his windpipe. black dots are beginning to crumble the edges of his vision, but he manages to force the petals out of his throat and into the toilet in front of him after a while, tears pricking his eyes like cactus needles. his throat feels scratchy and rough, but he's willing to deal with it if it means feeling the love he has for jeongguk continuously.

he knows his logic may seem flawed, but he can't bring himself to even consider an operation to get rid of the pesky petals, even if it could cost him his life. that would mean forgetting jeongguk and losing the love he's been feeling for years, and he thinks he'd rather die than have that happen. he doesn't think he would be the same if he can't feel flutters in his chest or butterflies in his stomach anymore, and he definitely doesn't want to lose who he is to the disease he's been unfortunately cursed with.

"jimin, are you okay in there?" a voice calls. he instantly recognizes the worried tone that seokjin uses so often now, and quickly flushes the toilet, watching with a sore throat as the petals disappear.

"yeah, i'm fine," he replies, quickly washing his hands to get the blue stains the petals left behind off of his fingers. he's lied to the other members so many times that it's not as hard as it was at first. it comes naturally, and he feels terrible about it. how are they supposed to successfully work as a team when one of the members can't even tell his teammates the truth?

he rubs his hand dry on his sweatpants before opening the door. "sorry i took so long."

"it's no problem," seokjin assures, peeking over his shoulder (which isn't very hard) to look into the bathroom. when he sees nothing out of the ordinary, he shifts his gaze back to jimin, traces of uneasiness still in his eyes, "it's just time for breakfast."

jimin dreads eating meals because sometimes petals will come up while he's swallowing his food, resulting in a nasty choking episode that nearly always turns his face blue before he can get to the toilet. even with the dread weighing heavy on his shoulders, he puts on a fake smile-which he's also ashamed that he can do easily now-, and passes by seokjin, trying his hardest to ignore the worry painted clear as day on the elder's face as they walk to the kitchen.

when he enters the room, the other members have already begun to eat and are chattering amongst themselves. namjoon's talking to yoongi about a song he wrote last night with a burst of inspiration. hoseok's quick to pull seokjin to his side and talk about some canadian artist who's coming to korea and how they just need to get tickets. jeongguk is, of course, talking to taehyung, smiles stretched wide across their faces. they nudge and hit each other lightly as they laugh at something taehyung said, and jimin can't help but feel a painful twinge in his chest.

with a heavy and aching heart, he sits down at the table, next to namjoon and across from jeongguk who hasn't even paid him any mind. he picks up a single pancake from the stack and pours only a little bit of syrup over the top, stabbing at it with his fork rather than cutting and lifting it to his mouth. namjoon, even though he's in a conversation with yoongi, is observant and looks at jimin with an unusual expression.

"why aren't you eating?" he asks, jerking his head a little towards the pancake jimin's barely touched. the sudden question startles jimin, and he tries to ignore the looks he gets from the entire group when he hits his thigh on the table accidentally, jeongguk in particular. his cheeks burn, even though there's nothing to be shy about since he's been with the group for four years now, and his voice is quieter than normal when he answers.

"i'm just not really hungry," he says, taking the flesh of his bottom lip into his teeth. his voice still sounds a bit strained from the amount of flowers he had to cough up earlier, but it's not bad enough to raise more questions.