Chapter Twenty

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Christina's P.O.V.

I have never seen anything more devastating in my life. Watching Michael be taken from the airport hangar and into custody is something I never thought I'd see. Geragos had it arranged to do it in the cover of the hangar so the media wouldn't be able to get pictures of it, and so the children, who were safe at home in Neverland wouldn't have to witness such a frightening scene.

For as long as I have known Michael I have seen he can be stern and demanding at times, but that is only the end result of all his life's experiences that changed him. They say he'd changed after the Martin Bashir documentary scandal, and he had hardened and didn't trust anyone, when before he had be softer and trusting. Now, he seems to have changed again. He's neither hard nor soft. He's distant now, non responsive, as if he's not even there anymore. He looks like he's pushing people away who were once closest to him. I feel it too. I feel like I'm being pushed out, and it hurts so bad, but I say nothing. My problems and worries seem too insignificant compared to the ones he's facing. Michael is having a hard time letting himself be loved and cared for. It looks to me like he's just letting go.

I have prayed that this nightmare would be over as quickly as it has started, but my prayers seem to have gone unanswered because it has been three months since Michael's very public arrest and things haven't died down at all. I haven't seen anybody around the house. Michael is always off with his lawyers, as always being very hands on in everything concerning him. I have rarely seen him home, and when he is, it seems like he's avoiding me. I haven't seen the lawyers around either, in fact the last time I saw Geragos was the day Michael was arrested, when he quoted Michael saying 'Lies run sprints, but the truth runs marathons.' God let's hope so.

Things have returned to normal for me I guess, back to me being stuck in my bedroom, feeling like I don't belong anywhere. I've done a lot of writing, a lot of reading and a lot of sleeping though. Most days I wish my life wasn't as complicated, like back when all I did was clean houses, back when everything was simple and clear. Back when I didn't have a stupid contract, wasn't in the public eye having everything I do scrutinized and picked apart. Why didn't she accompany Michael here? Why is she so serious here? Why doesn't she say anything?

Why does anyone even care?

It's been a pretty lonely couple of months and I have absolutely nobody to confide in. How can I possibly let off steam to anyone without letting slip my little secret? And if anyone found out... I don't want to even think about that. So I am alone. The only one who I can talk to has major problems of his own. Mine look pretty petty in comparison.

In an attempt to fight the loneliness as much as I can, I decide to call the limousine company to send me a car and take me into town. The nearest town is a thirty minute ride from the ranch. I want to pick up a simple electric burner and a small refrigerator for my room so I don't have to go to the kitchen and depend on Michael's people for sustanance, nor do I have to live off of granola bars and candy if I stay in my room. I'd like to be as self suficient and completely independant as I can. If I absolutely have to live here, I have money of my own now and I can support myself. This house has never felt mine, and I doubt it ever will. It gives me something to do as well, not being used to sitting around and doing nothing. I've always been very active. I am completely capable of taking care of myself. And as for Luisa, she nor anyone else is allowed in my room. Everything in here is spotless to say the least. It would be an absolute sin if it wasn't.

A sleek black Lincoln Town car finds me waiting for it as it arrives to pick me up at the front entrance of the house. I slip inside.

"Nice to see you again, Christina," a smooth familiar voice sounds from the drivers seat.

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