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Monday - September 13

"John, please, there isn't any need to worry. There are hundreds of us who deal with this all the time."

I look at her in total wonderment inquiring, "Hundreds of us? You mean there are more of you?" Claire smiles at me, hoping that I understand. Man, is she wrong!

"John, when the sterilization law was enacted in 2020, there were many that were not going to stand by and let the human race not populate naturally. There is a group that has committed themselves to making sure that life, human life, will continue to go on as it has been for thousands of years. I couldn't tell you that before our marriage because there were too many lives at stake; including ours. I know you don't understand now John, but this baby is our baby, made by us, not by a clinic. This baby is the creation of our love for each other. Do you understand that, John? Do you?" Her eyes penetrate through me, hoping that I understand.

I jump from the couch shaking my head, and when I'm about to say something unpleasant, I notice how damn happy she looks. This couldn't be happening. I recall what I had thought to myself earlier that this was going to be a long week. Looking at her makes me wonder what other secrets she holds.

I go to the living room window to watch the brisk wind blow the disheveled snow chaotically around. Thousands of people in Atlanta stumble about, not knowing where they're destined. What destination are Claire and I headed for if this baby is allowed to be born? What future would any of us have? Having this baby would ruin us financially, and I could definitely kiss my career goodbye at the Center for Disease Control.

Claire interrupts my thoughts by coming over and wraps her arms around me. Her soft, tender little hands caress my waist. Involuntarily, I place my hands on top of hers to feel her warmth. Though the love of my life is connected to me, I can't help but somehow feel that I've been betrayed; betrayed by secrets that may no longer be secrets if this baby is born.

I take Claire's tiny hands into mine, and plead with her saying, "Claire, this baby cannot be born. This baby will doom us all. Do you want to have our lives, and the baby's life, put in danger? You do know we can go to jail for this, and the baby can be aborted at any time if the Population Control Administration ever knows. Do you want this to happen to us, Claire? Do you?"

Claire squeezes my hands tightly, and softly replies, "John, I will die for this baby. There isn't anything you can say that will make me change my mind. I will have this baby."

I didn't know what to say, except, "Claire, I love you."

As we embrace each other, I can't help but feel that this day will be a day of regret for us; for all of us. I soon realize why she wanted to know if I had spoken with Stan Roberts.

I release her from my arms and say, "Claire, when you asked me if I had spoken to Stan Roberts, was it because you need to have proof of this pregnancy?"

Imploring, Claire says, "John, we need to get papers from the Population Control Administration to confirm that this pregnancy is legal. If you somehow work with Roberts, and forge my pregnancy, it's possible that this pregnancy just might work."

"What do you mean by "we", Claire?" I yell, as I pull myself from her arms. "What the hell, Claire! I didn't know you weren't sterilized! Damn, you could have at least been truthful with me and told me what your parents were planning. Instead, you decide to just throw me into this whole damn chaos of madness!"

As I stomp away from her, Claire comes after me, grabs my arm with a firm grip, spins me around and says, "John, it wasn't planned like you think. My parents just didn't want me sterilized. I didn't tell you, John, because I didn't think I could get pregnant because you're supposed to be sterilized as well!"