To avoid from any confusion, we will only review your underrated character and how you portray them. Please keep in mind that we try to help you, it completely depends on you to follow our advice or not. Thank you.
- somniatis
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Honestly, when I started to read, I expected to see a dark, quiet character, who would only accept marriage to protect pureblood. So it was quite a surprise to see Rabastan as a teenager who had humour and I actually liked it. His comments still showed his close mind and belief his family forced upon him, which made his character more canon like, I believe.
Your writing is good but I suggest you to not explain everything. Let readers discover Rabastan, do not let them learn him through house elf, maybe? Let them shape his personality through his actions and mind.
I feel like something surprising will happen at next chapters but so far it is good. Also, maybe try to portray house elf more house elf like? I mean, sure, she obeys orders but some of her sentences gave me an idea of her to be more independent than she was supposed to be.
I hope review would be helpful. You are doing really good so far and I am sure the story will be more awesome with upcoming chapters.
