Serpents protect each other. We keep secrets. We drink until we tumble unconscious. We smoke. We burn the metal spoons that are our lungs until we're high above the whitest airplane, thinking it's a cloud.
I'm not going to lie, that's been me once or twice before. When I had no good reason to come home at night, I mostly lived behind the bar of the White Wyrm where I woke with dust in my throat each night. But after a while, Betty gave me someone to come home to.
I smiled at her as she asked my what my day held. Admittedly, it'd been a rough day for the Serpents. The Ghoulies threatened Sweet Pea today, held him down as they looked in my eyes. When Sweet Pea's girlfriend denied a job from them, they decided to take it out on him. I just spent two hours wrapping his bleeding arm.
I told her, "Nothing, we just hung around and drank a few beers."
She could tell I was lying. She always could. I don't know if it was my eyes or my tone that gave me away, but it seemed to do it every time. She took a step back. "Jug, what's the matter with telling me the truth?"
"What do you mean?"
"You didnt just drink a few beers, Jug. There's blood on your shirt."
"Bets, there are things the boys don't want circling through the town. It's not my story to tell."
"You don't trust me?"
"Betty, you know I do."
"It doesn't really feel like it."
I take a deep breath when I see her look away, her bottom lip quivering. Of all the things that make her her, that's the one I hate. When she's on the verge of crying, especially when it's by the fault of me, it makes me want to punch a wall.
"I'm sorry."
"Are you? Or are you just saying that so I'll forget it?"
"I'm sorry that there are things I have to keep from you."
"Why is there blood on your arm?"
"I..." I begin, looking at her pleadingly.
"You don't love me enough to tell the truth?" Several tears flow down her face.
I stopped. How long has this been driving her crazy?
"Of course I love you. But I have secrets of theirs to keep."
As her tears fell, the rest of her face fell with them. "So they mean... more."
"Of course not!"
"You don't love me very much," she decided, nodding to herself.
"That's not fair, Betty! You know I love you."
She shook her head, getting angrier. "Do I?"
My breath hitched in my throat. The love of my life, mascara coloured tears stained her cheeks, rep lipstick smudged as she wiped her tears off. She broke, in that moment. We broke as she ran into our room and began to throw her clothes in a plastic bag from the shop two blocks down.
"Betty," I grabbed her wrist and looked into her eyes with as much love as I could muster. I silently begged that telepathy existed, that I could convince her with one look.
"Don't touch me," she said through tears and gritted teeth.
"Betty, please don't leave." I begged, my hands trembling and my leg tapping, a technique my body has always used for calming itself.
"Juggy! You don't love me. I love you so, so much," she cries, "you can't keep letting me dig myself into this hole, okay? You're hurting me."
"What hole?" I cupped my hands over her cheeks and wiped her tears off.
"The one where I'm crippled by the love I have for you, Jug," she says, pursing her lips, "the only person that makes everything okay is you. If you loved me, I'd be your partner, completely, okay? Not just someone you live with."
"I'll tell them I want out, Betty. I-" I choked. "I love you so much."
"You wouldn't do that." She says staring at the blood on my arm like it was her own, like I'd completely shattered her heart and the mess on my arm was collateral.
"I would."
"God!" She yelled.
"What?"
"I don't want you to lie to me."
"I'm not, not now." I told her.
"Yes, you are," she replied, taking one last glum look at me and pushing past me and out of our bedroom door. The jewelry she hung on the door jingled as I ran after her.
She didn't run; she walked carefully but quickly on the ice. She was twenty feet away from the car when I begin to sprint.
I caught up with her and spun her around, attempting to kiss her. She pushed me off. She shook her head furiously, turned around, and walked the remaining five feet to the car.
I was stuck. My heart broke down into a million pieces, right then and there, the exhaust clouds coming out in small, quick puffs.
"Bets!" I called, on my absolute last strand of sanity.
She didn't mind what I said.
My eyes fell, my knees buckled, my stomach collapsed and I landed right down on the icy cement.
"Elizabeth Cooper, I do love you!" I breathed quietly. I couldn't move. It broke my heart, how little she knew of her effect on me. She didn't know how hugely I loved her.
I heard muffled sobs out in the distance, and I gave up. I've cried a few times in my life. When my mom left, when my dad was arrested, and when Betty left me because she couldn't understand the fact that I would do anything for her, except break someone else's trust.
"Betty.."
