Ecclesiastes 3:11 (One-Shot)

JOBLESS x LOVELESS

On the shadows of my pain—I lurk. I didn't seek further solutions nor asked for His guidance so that I'll be saved because all I know, I can do it by myself.

Or so I thought...

I thought problems are temporary as what they say so I let these linger believing it will eventually fade away. Without equipping myself more to become competent, I join the battle with an empty gun, with a worn-out shield, without believing in the divine intervention.

I am being too deep here when my problem is just all about being jobless and loveless. Am I to blame when I feel bare without these?

Two months ago, I graduated from a university as an engineering student. Prior to my graduation, I already job-hunt so that I could work right after getting my diploma. I applied for three companies. Neither of them hired me. I lost hopes. Am I not qualified? Am I not enough?

With that, I doubted my potentials. I excel in class—I'm one of the top students but why am I rejected?

I was to give up and apply for something that is not related to my degree however one of my colleagues distracted me to do that. She told me to apply online which I did. I sent my resume on the job postings online and wait for their call. But a week or two passed, no one called.

Sighing, I just opened my Facebook account to kill time. A frown drew in my face when I saw my ex-boyfriend's post about his new girlfriend. I don't know but it saddened me. No—I'm not heartbroken, I'm just envious because he was able to find someone new. While here I am, trying to find him.

Can't my life just go according to my plans? Just the way I wanted it to be?

Compared to others, my problems are considered petty. Other people face fatal hitches in life but they don't whine or lose hope. I'm just overacting.

Perhaps the reason why am I eager getting a job is because my mom is putting a lot of pressure on me since I'm the eldest. She may not say it directly but she's sending impolite signals that I should contribute to lessen the expenses of our family.

"How are you?" asks Jenna, my friend who is a year ahead of me, on messenger. She's working on a BPO company and she's earning good.

"Still jobless."

"That's terrible. :(" She replies.

"Really. No one called me, yet. I'm soooooo upset. Why is that?"

"Reese, maybe He is just waiting for you to call him?"

Then, that hit me to the bone. A tear left my eye. I don't know what was that for but when I felt a pinch on my heart, I knew it. When was the last time I called him? When was the last time I prayed?

I cried the whole night. How dare me to forget him? Much to my chagrin, I didn't pray because I feel like I'm just praying just because I need him. Which is very wrong for me—it embarrasses me so much.

Praying must be done whether life's great or rough. Maybe that's the reason why my dreams come my way. And I realized, it's not just how intelligent you are, how determined you are that will bring you to success. It's how prayerful and faithful you are that will completely bring you to triumph.

I went back to His arms through praying but I feel like I am it's not adequate. There's something missing... What would that be?

And there goes my mom again... she's whining and fussing. She even told me how unlucky am I. She made me look at the people of my age at our neighborhood who, though didn't went to College, are now employed. Shame on me. I am a Degree Holder but still got no job. Mom has a point.