Another Tribe

Part 9 Bushwhackers

Unable to swing his leg over the rear of the horse, Robert made a shambles of mounting. He was annoyed. He pushed back more than usual in the saddle and Julii was forced to slide backwards.

They rode silently south and Julii could feel that everything had changed between them. Sitting further back on the horse separated them, and there was a new more determined reluctance growing within Robert.

Her hands still touched his body because of necessity, but each step the beast took seemed to make Robert tenser and tenser. She longed to feel the hurt of her cheek touching his shoulder, but the thought of risking more rejection at this moment was just too daunting.

Julii's mind plumed the depths of denial for something that would explain his behavior, and somewhere deep down she found something that made her feel less wretched. It must be something ahead. Yes, the thought of something ahead of them must be upsetting her Robert.

Her denial clung to this thought because it created a problem that both of them must face. They were no longer separated. It made them a team facing danger together.

With every stride of the horse, she imagined scenes worse than that unthinkable place called Shiloh. If Robert had been telling the truth, she knew that somewhere ahead of them were places with huge wood and stone tipi-lined streets and, in those streets, carriages and wagons pulled by horses. Could there be bodies lying in these streets like the bodies at Shiloh? Would there be bodies in the carriages and wagons that passed between the big stone and wood tipis? Would wild pigs be pulling up those awful decomposing bodies from just under the street? If this was the case, it was no wonder Robert felt apprehensive about her seeing such things.

Soon these fictitious thoughts turned into absolute truths. Robert was simply pulling away from her because he was worried about introducing her to such horrors. She felt warmly towards him. His irrational behavior was all about protecting her but he need not worry. It would be horrible but she could tolerate any amount of horror if he was there too.

While Julii's denial worked its magic, rational thoughts of self-preservation were trying desperately to bring her back to reality. Every time the facts came close to getting into her fretting mind, denial told her to think of other things. It steered her mind towards pleasant memories. The brown baby. Yes, she had been so small and perfect. What will they name her? All of her tiny fingers and toes were such a beautiful brown color. That rich brown color made the baby look so healthy, so strong.

These distracting thoughts of the brown baby led Julii's very tired mind to another convenient construction. Was Robert jealous of the brown couple's color? Did he want to be a beautiful rich brown color like them? Robert had changed radically after meeting the brown people. Was it because their brown skin made them look so much stronger and healthier than Robert's pale pinkish-white color? Was it all because of something as simple as envy?

Waking-up and finding her head rubbing against Robert's reluctant shoulder caused Julii to panic. What if she fell asleep again and fell off? Would he stop and pick her up? Why had Robert decided to travel at night?

Traveling at night made no sense because he could not see where he was going. Even something as simple as passing under a tree became dangerous at night. And keeping awake was so stressful.

Finding five dead blue men on the road did nothing to settle Julii down. It all happened so fast. Robert suddenly dismounted awkwardly and walked cautiously into the darkness. As her eyes found focus, she watched him bend over each dead body in turn. Without looking up, he spoke for the first time that night. "Bushwhackers."

A new word! This was exciting. Julii wanted to dismount and engage Robert in conversation. The horse's hairs poking her naked flesh were now agonizing. She would have loved to jump down, but she was still too afraid of Robert riding off without her.

In an attempt to involve herself more, she asked: "Are they dead?"

Robert looked from the motionless bodies to Julii. She couldn't see his irritated expression in the poor light but she knew it was there. What was she saying? Why did she ask such an inane and obviously stupid question? Anyone could see by the positions of the bodies that they were dead. If he hadn't thought her stupid before, Robert was going to think her stupid now!

In a matter of fact voice he said to no one in particular: "These must be the Yankee boys that nigger spoke to."

Afraid of making herself appear even more stupid but equally afraid of missing the chance of communication with her Robert, Julii asked sheepishly: "How can you tell?"

Taking Julii by surprise, Robert spoke to her directly and his reply was not condescending. "A captain, a sergeant and three troopers. I heard the noise of at least five horses from the thicket."

This was good. Julii felt included. She was terrified by the sight of so much death in a dark, strange place, but Robert was communicating. In an attempt to keep it going, she bolstered her confidence and asked another question. "How can you know it was bushwhackers?"

Robert lifted his hand and pointed. Once again, his voice sounded respectful. "Money, guns, food, water, weapons all gone, but they left the boots."

Julii had no idea what the presence of boots was telling Robert, but she was not going push her luck and make the mistake of asking a question a about it just in-case it was too obvious. She silently watched him conclude his examination of the bodies, then walk back to the horse and mount. He didn't make such a mess of it this time and she no longer felt so bad about staying on the horse.

Turning to look over his shoulder, Robert told her: "You keep an eye out behind us. Let me know the moment you see anyone, right? You got that?"

Julii did not understand what bushwhackers were, but he had said something that treated her as an equal and required her to respond. "Right."

That felt better; not stupid or dramatic. Her tone and brevity had mirrored his. She was a part of Robert's tribe now. They were two parts of one thing acting in unison with the common objective of survival.

The rest of Julii's night was spent fighting off the burning urge to sleep while engaging in serious surveillance of the moonlit road and trees behind them.

Julii was definitely not going to let Robert down or do something silly to break this new-found bond between them...

Luckily for Julii, her fingers were locked in place around Robert's waist and that kept her from falling off of the horse as she drifted off to a deep sleep.

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