Finally Over

Chapter 1

I don't usually write in a journal, but I think it might help me in the long run. If you're reading this, I'm sorry. You won't find what you're looking for.

I'm Alesha. If you don't know me, that's okay. Not many people like me, but that's okay too. It lets me keep to myself so I can think. Although many of the thoughts aren't the best, it comforts me more than anyone else can. Well, I've rambled enough. I'll write again soon, until then.
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I didn't see the point in having this stupid journal. It won't help me out, it seems useless. In all honesty, the small leather book comforted me already. I quietly sighed as I looked outside of my window. It was around midnight, the clouds had consumed the moon and stars.
"It's gonna rain, isn't it?"
I didn't expect a reply. There never was one. It may seem dramatic to some people, but I hate it. Everything about it. The silence has always scared me, and it always will. The thin layer surrounding my pale body, it always made me choke without reason. I hated the way I never could open up to people. The way people looked at me when I was alone. They just misunderstood me though.
Right?
"Right."
Maybe my stepmom was right. She was always so nice, so welcoming. I don't see how she does it, she says that she wrote in a journal though. It never helped that my family seems to hate me. Everything I did seemed to send them walking away with a look of hatred on their faces. It also doesn't help that people constantly make fun of me, yet get scared and run off when I walk near them. That's life though. Maybe the consistent thoughts swirling in my head confuse them? Or maybe I am scary? I don't see how scary I could be though. The only terrifying part of me would be my head. It could be normal though, I'm only fourteen. Maybe it's a phase. Maybe I'll have friends that I can trust, or a family that supports me.

A loud boom strikes through my room. A strike of lightning fills the sky with a dark, yet bright light.
"That hit close to the house. I wonder where it hit."
The pelting raindrops fell from the sky faster. I slowly stand up, my hair falling to the side. I look in the mirror hanging over my dresser. Half of my head was shaved, I did it myself though. I changed into a pair of black shorts and a blue tank top. Sliding in a part of combat boots, I leave my dimly lit room. The house was quiet except for the raindrops hitting against the small house.
"They're all asleep already. That makes this much easier."
Don't do it, it's not safe.
"Shut up."
I unlock the door quietly, and open the door. Stepping outside, I look up. The cooling wind makes me sway on the porch. The clouds seem to be moving, maybe the moon will show.
You need to go to bed. You've got school in the morning. It's not safe to stay out here.
"Why do you want me to go inside so bad?"
It's not safe. What if the door locks and you get stuck out here? What if the lightning strikes you and you die? What if someone kidnaps you or kills you? What if-
"I'm fine."
I stand up from my spot in the grass. The rain is slowing down, maybe the storm will go away. I slowly turn around and start walking to the door. Another strike of lightning hits as I jump from the sound. Orange. That's all I see for a few seconds.
I told you it wasn't safe.
I blink away the color and turn around. It had struck the large oak tree in front of the house. It didn't move, so at least it won't fall? I walk towards the tree slowly, ignoring the fear trying to get me inside. There was a large lightning print running down the side of the tree.
"Maybe I shouldn't climb it until after school, so I can be sure it won't fall down."
I walk back inside and change into a large shirt and lay down in my cozy bed. Maybe I should listen to my thoughts more, that could've killed me. Whether it was from the lightning or the tree falling, that was luck. I close my tired eyes, and drift off to sleep.