Big Girl Boots

Twenty-Three

Instead of wrinkling her nose upon walking in, she put on a smirk, like she knew all too well that it was hard to get rid of that manure scent. She didn't have spurs on her boots, but they still made distracting noises when she walked into any room. I'd grown to associate the methodical thumps and slight dragging noise that came from too-long jeans brushing the floor with Dustie. She shoved her hands in her pockets and allowed her gaze to roam over the menagerie of furniture. "Did you order already?"

I shook my head and turned to the counter where a college-age girl with a nose ring was waiting with one hand resting on the register. She was pretty, but the facial jewelry and dull expression took away some of that beauty. "Hi, what can I get you?"

"Uh," I glanced to the overwhelming list of fancy-ass drinks scrawled on the chalkboards above her head, "how about a black and white mocha?"

"What size?" The blonde's monotonous voice grated on my nerves but I managed to contain it. "Medium."

"That'll be four-fifty."

I could feel my mouth drop open as I yanked a wad of crumpled bills from my front pocket. Who knew fancy drinks could cost so damn much?

The girl took my money and moved on to Dustie who had been standing beside me with an easy air, both hands shoved in her pockets. The interior of this place was warm, but little miss Oklahoma and I had completely different definitions of the word. She placed an order that sounded like pure sugar and we both moved languidly to a little round table to wait. The girl behind the counter worked slowly to get our drinks rolling, obnoxiously clanking the metal apparatus. I stared at my folded hands which were cold to the touch and waited for Dustie to speak. Like me, it wasn't long before she couldn't stand the silence.

"So."

I glanced up at her for a moment, giving nothing away. That left the ball entirely in her court.

She sighed and ran her thumb nail along the cuff of the gray sweatshirt she wore. I knew she had that layered with a long-john shirt and leggings, too, plus the purple fleece vest on top. Neither her nor Wayne had adjusted to the cold climate of North Idaho yet.

"Blake," she slapped her hands down on the rough surface of our little wooden table, "I don't know how to be tactful, so I'm just gonna ask you. Are you okay?"

My shoulders lifted in a shrug and I stayed quiet.

"Like, is there anything I can do? I don't really know what's going on but I assume it has something to do with Coda."

I chewed on my lip and tried to decide how to respond. At the moment, I was feeling guilty about not being home and at least trying to help my best friend. Because she wanted nothing to do with me, that guilt was irrational and I knew it, but I couldn't help it. All I wanted to do was fix this, which was probably the reason for my exile. There had been multiple times when a problem arose in Coda's life and me doing something to fix it made her more upset than the problem itself did. I was a sad excuse for a therapist, and apparently an even sadder excuse for a friend in her mind.

"Y'know," Dustie's voice was soft, lacking all of her usual bluff and bluster. She sounded genuinely concerned for me. "I'm not sure what's going on right now, but I have a feeling you're kicking yourself over something that you have no control of. I do it a lot, too. But honestly, that's the worst thing you can do. If you really want to make something better, you gotta accept it and move forward. Life is gonna leave you face down in the dust if you can't just roll with the punches."

My eyes flicked away from my cold hands to meet hers. The brown orbs were kind and sympathetic, which weren't emotions that girl typically displayed. At any other time, she would be slouched down in her seat with a sullen expression, looking like she wanted to be anywhere but there. I nodded slowly and toyed with my fingers, staring at a large clock behind her head. It read quarter to four, meaning we'd been out of school for forty-five minutes. Granted, it had taken us quite a while to get to the coffee shop on icy roads. Dustie was extremely careful with her Dodge pickup, not that I could blame her. It was the only piece of her daddy she had left.

"I agree." I surprised even myself by speaking up. Even though I'd felt like I really needed to talk about all this at lunch, I'd since clammed up. She was probably wondering why in the hell I even invited her out for coffee if I wasn't going to talk to her. "But sometimes life just hits you so hard it's all you can do to catch your breath."

"Blake, I know you're not the kind of girl who needs half-assed pep talks that are just a bunch of bullshit strung together, so I'm gonna tell it to you straight. Life is gonna knock you down; sometimes it'll even knock you the fuck out, and that's okay. But the thing is, you gotta get up, dust off, and show it what you're made of. You can either put on your big girl boots and handle this shit like the tough cowgirl you are or you can let it keep kicking you while you're down and just take it. From what I've seen, that's not who you are, but it's up to you." She leaned her wooden chair back on two legs the same way she had on the first day we met, determination and resolve in her eyes. Pieces of hair brushed her cheeks as she rocked the chair, waiting for my response.

I licked my lips, laughing a little. That was almost the exact same speech I'd given Coda the day after we got her drunk and she told us all about the way that Ryker asshole had attacked her. As much as I'd wanted to go and beat the absolute shit out of the boy, I knew that wouldn't help her mental state any. Plus, he was in jail and it wouldn't have looked very good if I'd marched in there and started whaling on him through the bars. As far as I knew, that would land me right there next to him and I didn't have money for bail. "Well, oh wise Dustie, what do you suggest I do?"

She shrugged and leaned the chair back a little further, so far I was afraid she might go crashing off and break her head open. "I don't know, you haven't even told me what's going on."

I sighed and went back to staring at my hands. "Hell, I don't even know what's going on."

I glanced up to find a grim set to her mouth and flinched when the barista hollered our orders. We were the only people in the joint and her loud but monotonous voice rang through obnoxiously. While Dustie stood up to grab the drinks, I tried to formulate a response.

She walked over and motioned with her chin to a couch on the far side of the room. I picked myself up out of the uncomfortable wooden chair I'd been sitting in and followed her. The seats sagged when we sat down, but I didn't care. Being in the corner, we at least had some sort of privacy. Dustie took a sip of her drink, held it in her mouth for a moment, and jabbed her chin at me. "Okay, spill. You'll feel better."

I tasted my own drink and flinched when my taste buds began burning. Man was that hot. "Well, Coda basically told me to get out of her life."

Dustie took another sip, keeping her brown eyes trained on me. "Why in the hell would she do that?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Basically her crazy-ass mom called and..." I stopped cold and stared at her. "Dustie?"

"What?"

"You're not gonna repeat any of this, right?"

She shook her head solemnly before snorting. "Who would I tell? You're like my only friend."

First, I felt a pang of sadness, then a little ray of joy. It was strange but good to know she considered me a friend. Other than Coda, my list of female friends basically didn't exist. I hated the airhead barrel racers, pageant queens, and straight up buckle bunnies I dealt with at every single rodeo. The boys were way more on my level. Only when Dustie grinned did I realize I was smiling, too.

"The hell are you all smiley about?" She teased, still grinning. I took a sip of my coffee and shook my head.

"Nothin'. Just glad I met you."

"Back atcha. Now continue the story. We gotta get this shit figured out."

***

Gahhh! Hi, you guys!

Ugh, I really wanted to get this finished up on Sunday, but I just didn't get the time! Anyway, your Wednesday update is here! Hope you enjoyed it!

Honestly, I just love Dustie. Her and Blake are easily my favorite characters to write, not to mention Wyatt ;)

Also, did you see the new cover?!?!?! I'm so excited about it! Let me know what you think! I love you all!

--Lindsey