The Deafening Silence of Toby Puckett

Dad?

I don't think anyone is better off without him.. I knew he was sad, but, wow. I never expected this. He was my dad, my best friend, my only friend. He's left me stranded, staring at his corpse. What do I t-... Who do I tell? He's probably fine. I just need to call an ambulance before he bleeds out.

"9-1-1, what's your emergency?"

I glance over at him again and I sob as it hits me.

"M-my dad.. h-he c-c-c.. he... he umm"

I sob a little harder.

"can you tell me your name?"

"T-Toby"

"That's great, Toby. Now, can you tell me what's wrong with your dad?"

I take a deep breath.

"He's dead."

I look up at the ceiling, attempting to hold it in.

"where are you."

"I can't tell you that, stranger."

I chuckle at myself slightly, but it just further provokes my incessant bawling.

"I'm at 607 south university..."

My lips start to do that gross pouty thing that a lot of girls do when they cry super hard.

"Okay, there's an ambulance on the way.. Mind telling me what happened? How he died?"

"umm. Well."

I take another deep breath and wipe my tears.

"I't seems as though.. he, uh.. shot himself."

I'm in the kitchen now, pacing by the wall dividing us. I can't look at him.

"I know this is hard.."

My pacing stops abruptly. She continues to talk as I drop my landline from about 5'2". I begin to slump down with it.

I'm sick of hearing that. No, no you don't know. You don't know a single thing about how the fuck I'm feeling right now. I don't even know how the fuck I'm feeling. So, fuck you.

I walk back over to him, my thoughts begin to stir; I shouldn't have gone to that fucking party. I shouldn't have let that guy buy me so m-...

My thoughts are interrupted by the operator trying to get my attention.

"Toby? I'm going to need you to stay on the phone with me."

I freeze. I remember last night, I remember all too well.

He was buying me drinks, how kind.

He offered me a ride home last night because I was tired, great guy.

He didn't bring me home, what an asshole.

He fucked a drugged, underage girl.

Fucking rapist. It's strange what a pretty face can hide.

I hold my knees to my chest, the lady is still searching for me.

"Toby?"

I pick the phone up violently and throw it into the garbage disposal and turn it on.

Others would say this quiet is silent, but I'd have to disagree... it's actually really fucking loud and annoying, yet I feel deaf. Sometimes the quiet really is violent. Deafening, almost.

I stare at the pistol. What if.. What if I just made a quick and simple trip to the ground's eternity?

A knock leaves my thoughts, once again, interrupted, but by the ambulance and police and coroners...