Skin Color Doesn't Matter

18. Regrets

I pulled up to my house about 20 minutes later and got out of the car. I unlocked the front door quietly and walked in. I walked up the stairs and opened my door. April was laying in my bed. I tapped her and woke her up. "I told them you slept over Mercedes house." She groggily spoke. "Thank you so much! I owe you big time!" I said while hugging her.

"Let me borrow some clothes?" She asked with a tired smile. I sighed and smiled. "Yes. For 2 weeks." She got up and went back to her room. I laid down and sighed. What if Ian wasn't telling me the whole truth? What if we actually ... OMG what if I had sex with him!?!?! No! My first time was supposed to be for that special person. Not with some asshole while I was drunk out of my mind!!

Ugh, I feel so disgusting. I'm going to take a shower! I got up and grabbed some of my clothes. I got in the shower and put yoga pants on and a tie-dye shirt. I laid down back in my bed and I decided to take a nap.

**

I woke up to my phone ringing. I squinted my eyes and grabbed for it. My screen blinded me but I answered the phone. "Hello?" I spoke into the phone. "What the hell were you doing at Ian's house!?!" Mercedes yelled into the phone. "What the hell are you talking about?" I asked sitting up. "Don't play dumb with me Ashley, River sent me a picture of you leaving his house with his clothes on. The fuck were you doing there?"

I slapped my forehead and groaned. "Mercedes please don't start right now. I have a massive head ache." I didn't wanna talk about this right now. "How did you end up there!?! Tell me right now? Or else River and I are coming over." She stated.

That's when I snapped. "It's your fucking fault!!! You knew I was fucking depressed about Kyle leaving so just let me sulk! I would've been back to normal in a coupled days if you just wouldn't have fucking told me to go to the god damn party!! You are so fucking selfish! All you think about is yourself. Your a terrible fucking friend for leaving me at a party where I didn't know anyone. And I specifically asked you if Ian was going to be there and you told me he wasn't!! It's all your fucking fault!!" I breathed. My throat was starting to get dry. But I didn't stop there. I couldn't stop there.

"I swear to god Mercedes, did you have something to do with this?" I asked heated. "Excuse me?" She finally spoke. "Did you have something to do with me and Ian!? You supposedly knew he wasn't going to be there when he was. You left me and Ian shows up. I don't think that's a coincidence!" I explained.

"Ashley, you've been my friend for many years now and you think I would do some conniving shit like that?"

"I believe people are capable of anything. If someone has a good enough reason for something, they will do it."

I didn't hear anything on the other side of the phone. I sat there and waited for her to speak. "Goodbye Ashley." Is all I heard before she hung up. Okay, maybe I was a little too harsh but I mean, it is kinda her fault. And ... also mine for going along with that decision. I should've stayed home. I shouldn't have went to that party. I honestly don't know what happened between me and Ian. Guess this wasn't staying between the two of us.

My phone started to ring it I was surprised to see this persons name. I answered. "Hello?" I spoke hesitantly. "Hey Ashley, what's going on? Mercedes said something was up." Kyle spoke into the phone. Well look who's alive!!!! "Welcome back to the land of the living. You don't have a right to ask me any questions. You fucking kiss me, tell me we're friends and I was okay with that because I'm an understanding person. But then you don't respond to any of my texts and you have me worried sick! Have you even gotten my texts?" I asked feeling really hurt. A tear threatened to roll down my face but I couldn't let that happen.

"My phone messed up and I had to get a new one. I'm sorry but I did get your last messages, I just haven't really had the chance to reply to them." He explained. I sighed. That's a kinda good reason for not texting me back. "Well don't worry about me. I'm perfectly fine. Just some things that are a misunderstanding." I tried to avoid telling him what happen.