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I'm looking for the upside

to these panic attack nights,

when my throat threatens to close,

and I have to remind my self,

to just breathe.

Cheeks flushed, heart racing,

trying to hold back the tears

that I couldn't explain.

Even if you asked.

But I know you wouldn't,

you would pretend that I wasn't

even there.

Keeping your eyes trained

on someone else.

But that's just who you are.

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