bad for me // min yoongi ✔️

11] come on, listen to me

Yoongi's shoulders slumped as he sat back down, his hands covering his face.

"...I'm sorry...I know you're right," he mumbled.

"Yoongi, talk to me," Namjoon's voice was suddenly softer, "What are you really afraid of? I know you're scared of not being able to be there for her, and I know you're scared that she may resent you. But, those things are all preventable. You could be there with her right now, and you aren't. She won't have a reason to resent you if you just communicate.... So, what is it really that's bothering you so much? What's bothering you enough that it's been keeping you from seeing her?"

Yoongi's eyes were brimmed with hot tears. He tilted his back slightly, rubbing his eyes and groaning in frustration at his outward projection of emotion.

"I'm scared of being alone again, okay? If I become a point of drama and uneasiness in her life, then it's only a matter of time before she cuts me out of it," Yoongi admitted, and to his dismay, the tears started falling. "I've tried to avoid conflict, because Namjoon, if I'm honest, she's one of the only people that still wants to be around me. That deals with me, and puts up with me. And I'm just so scared that all of this fame business is going to break her and make her push me away..."

"Yoongi, you don't have to feel that way," Namjoon started, his words gentle as he handed over a tissue, "You need to ask her she feels instead of assuming. It's possible you made a lot of this up in your head. And, running away from it won't make it any better. You pushing her away first won't make it any easier. You're just going to regret it later."

"I know..."

And then Yoongi's cell phone was ringing. Sniffling, he pulled it out of his pocket and blinked a few times to get the tears out of his eyes.

"It's Y/N," he breathed, new tears replacing the old ones.

"Answer it."

Nodding, Yoongi took a deep breath and accepted your call.

"Yoongi! I know we were supposed to hang out tonight, but my history professor just pushed out an email saying that we have to complete our paper by tomorrow's class instead of Monday's, and I haven't even started it yet," you began, sounding incredibly sincere and frustrated, "I'm really sorry. I know this is so lame, but I have to pass this class if I want to graduate on time."

"Calm down, Y/N. It's okay. I understand," Yoongi said, trying to mask the emotion in his voice, but was unsuccessful.

"Are you okay?" you demanded from the other end of the line.

"I'm fine."

"Then why do you sound like that? Are you crying?" Your worry was apparent and Yoongi looked at Namjoon, desperate. Namjoon only shrugged with an apologetic expression covering his face.

"My throat is just sore from practice today. Um, just worry about your history paper for now, okay?" Yoongi attempted to change the course of the conversation.

"You know I can tell when you're lying, right? You do realize that you saying that makes me worry even more? What's wrong?" You pressed, and Yoongi began feeling frustrated again. Why were you so observant? Why could you read his voice so well? How come the one time he wanted to keep something from you, you wouldn't let him?

"I don't want to be a distraction for you tonight. I promise I'm okay," he said, but his words failed him as his voice was beginning to break.

"Yoongi..." you sounded so worried, "Do you need to come over? I can spare some time," you began insisting. Yoongi let out a heavy breath.

"No, it's okay. Just finish your paper. I-uh I have an underground rap concert on Saturday night with another BigHit trainee. Would you come?" He asked, changing the subject yet again.

"Um, yeah of course. But, Yoongi..."

"Yeah?"

You hesitated for a moment, leaving Yoongi waiting in anxious anticipation at the words to come.

"What is it, Y/N?"

"Is there a reason that you haven't talked to me all week? Is that what this is about?" You said the words quietly, and Yoongi's heart clenched.

"I don't want to have this conversation with you on the phone," he fought more tears, but they continued falling anyway. Jaw clenching, he wiped his eyes again.

"Yoongi..."

"Saying my name over and over isn't going to change my mind. Your education comes first. Please, focus for now and we'll talk later," the shakiness in his voice was incredibly clear then. Yoongi's eyes flickered over at Namjoon, who was looking down, picking at a thread on the sleeve of his sweater.

"Are you breaking up with me?" your voice was tiny, and for some reason, it ignited a spark of anger with Yoongi.

"No, Y/N! Stop. I've just been thinking about a lot of things lately, and I'm stressed, and over-tired, and honestly, I just need you to stop pushing me right now. Come on, please just listen to me," Yoongi resolved, words carrying a note of finality in them.

"Okay," You said simply, flatly. And even though Yoongi felt terrible, he couldn't take back what he said, nor did he really want to.

"Will you still come on Saturday?" his voice was low, emotions suddenly becoming masked as he forced himself to put up a better front.

"Yes," you said quietly.

"Great. I'll text you the details," Yoongi mumbled, before hanging up the phone without even bothering to say goodbye.

Namjoon grimaced slightly as Yoongi sat, staring blankly as the remainder of the tears fell from his eyes.

"Yoongi," Namjoon began, but Yoongi immediately shook his head.

"Let's get back to work," he said, emotionless as he stood from his stool, dragging it back in front of the microphone.