Undercover (Phan)

Chapter 26

Dan's POV

A/N: Writing in school again because I'm bad.

Waking up the next morning in Phil's arms was a strange feeling. I'd spent the night with him one other time at his house, but we didn't wake up the way we woke up this morning. I awoke to my face still buried into his chest, as if I'd slept so hard that I hadn't moved an inch. To be quite honest, seeing as how exhausted I was the previous night, that wouldn't really surprise me. My arms were wrapped around Phil's shoulders and his arms were wrapped around my torso. Despite the feeling in my stomach telling me how strange and foreign this all was, I also slowly began to wonder why we hadn't been doing this all along...because despite every voice in my head telling me to run, my heart encouraged me to stay.

Is this the first time I've listened to my heart rather than my mind?

Probably.

But maybe, just maybe, in this particular situation, my heart is what I should be listening to.

I shut my eyes and tried to go back to sleep, but I couldn't. So I just laid in a comfortable silence with my eyes shut, nuzzled into Phil's chest, listening to his breathing and his heartbeat. A heartbeat I nearly stopped. A heartbeat that I'm so happy I get to listen to.

If I had gone through with killing myself, Eden likely would have sent someone else to complete the job that I was unable to do. Phil would have been killed. I want to be angry at myself for being so stupid and acting so irrationally and selfishly yesterday, and for a minute, I am. However, I soon realize that that is no longer what matters. What matters now is me figuring out a way to tell Phil the truth and finding a way to protect him.

I told Phil how I feel yesterday.

My eyes fly open as I remember that.

Does he feel the same way about me? He must, or he wouldn't be so affectionate towards me, would he? Or is he just trying to comfort me during a difficult time? He wouldn't lead me on though. I doubt that.

Say, hypothetically, he does feel something for me. How will he feel about me when I tell him the truth? In order to protect him, I'll have to find a way to tell him...well, everything. Eden, the mission, the people after him; will he even believe me? I'll probably sound crazy. Say he does by some miracle believe me. How will I get him to trust me? You'd have to be pretty batshit crazy to trust someone who's been trying to kill you for months now.

I'm brought out of my thoughts when Phil opens his eyes.

He still looks extremely tired, like he isn't quite awake enough to have a conversation. I can't blame him; I probably completely melted his brain yesterday with everything that happened. So for a while, we just stare at each other, and then I nuzzle myself into his chest again and he holds me tightly to him, which I think is the most solid proof I've ever had that actions speak louder than words.

x

After a little while longer and Phil and I each woke up a little bit more, Phil asked me the typical questions; how I'm feeling, if I'm doing okay, and so on. He spent the morning with me and eventually asked me how long I wanted him to stay or if I wanted to come stay over with him. I lied and said that my dad would be returning in a few hours, so I wouldn't be alone again. I didn't want Phil to feel obligated to do more for me than he had to, so Phil - with hesitancy - left a couple hours later. To ease his conscious though, I agreed to stay the night at his house the next night.

With the day to myself, I tried to do what I could to actually take care of myself so that when I went over to Phil's house tomorrow, he wouldn't be more worried than he already is. I showered, fed myself, drank plenty of water, and also planned out how I would get Phil to protection.