Jokes!

Joke#13

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One Liners 

Man:  "Haven't we met before?" 
Woman:"Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic." 

Man:  "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" 
Woman:"Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore." 

Man:  "Is this seat empty?" 
Woman:"Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down." 

Man:  "So, wanna go back to my place?" 
Woman:"Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under the rock?" 

Man:  "Your place or mine?" 
Woman:"Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine." 

Man:  "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" 
Woman: "It's in the phone book." 

Man:  "But I don't know your name." 
Woman:"That's in the phone book too." 

Man:  "So what do you do for a living?" 
Woman:"I'm a female impersonator." 

Man:  "What sign were you born under?" 
Woman:"No Parking." 

Man:  "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" 
Woman:"Do Not Enter" 

Man:  "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" 
Woman:"Unfertilized!" 

Man:  "Hey, come on, we're both here at this  bar for the same reason." 
Woman:"Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!" 

Man:  "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy." 
Woman:"You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?" 

Man:  "I know how to please a woman." 
Woman:"Then please leave me alone." 

Man:  "I want to give myself to you." 
Woman:"Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts." 

Man:  "I can tell that you want me." 
Woman:"Ohhhh, you're so right. I want you...  to leave." 

Man:  "If I could just see you naked, I'd die happy." 
Woman:"Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing 

Man:  "Hey, cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?" 
Woman:"Sorry, I don't date outside my species." 

Man:  "Your body is like a temple." 
Woman:"Sorry, there are no services today." 

Man:  "Your hair color is fabulous." 
Woman:"Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store." 

Man:  "You look like a dream." 
Woman:"Go back to sleep." 

Man:  "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?" 
Woman:"What's it like being the biggest liar in the world?" 

Man:  "I'd go through anything for you." 
Woman:"Good! Let's start with your bank account." 

Man:  "I would go to the end of the world for you." 
Woman:"Yes, but would you stay there?"