しなかった
DIDN'T
yoongi
it had been days since hoseok confessed to me. i felt even better.
i cried less, i slept more, i stopped hurting myself. i changed. because of hoseok. it was for the better.
my feelings were mixed up i didn't know why, i didn't know why all this happened to me. maybe it was too much to take on. maybe i didn't deserve hoseok.
thoughts and questions flowed through my mind again. it was overflowing. it was too much to handle.
hoseok texted me. finally. we haven't talked in ages. i missed him loads.
HOSEOK
hi yoongi !
HOSEOK
how was work today ?
YOONGI
oh it was fine
YOONGI
but i really
missed you !
i lied again, i quit my job. i couldn't forgive myself for the number of times i lied to hoseok, but i tried to believe that it was the right thing to do, to worry him less, to let him focus on his own life, and not care about mine...
i'm sorry for the hundredth,
thousandth or millionth time...
HOSEOK
oh, that's great to hear !
HOSEOK
i missed you too !
HOSEOK
you must be exhausted,
you should get some rest,
i'll talk to you later :))
YOONGI
ok bye :))
+
yoongi
i dozed off. i guess i was too exhausted from everything that happened. or this was just to replace the hours of sleep i didn't get.
+
i woke up. it had been hours. i never slept this much at all. what was happening to me ? i asked myself everything, but i still couldn't find the answers. i then lifted my phone and texted hoseok.
YOONGI
hi !!
YOONGI
just took a
really long nap
YOONGI
hoseok ?
i didn't know what was happening. i called him over and over. no answer.
why ? why wasn't he answering my calls ?
i feel heartbroken. the worst i've felt so far. i didn't know why. but just right after my nap, after being relaxed and rested, i started bursting into tears again. i couldn't control myself. the pain inflicted on me was more painful than anything else. i had no choice but to distract myself from the pain inside of me by hurting myself again. the blood dripped onto my bedroom floor. i just kept cutting, not wanting to stop at all. my face was all filled with tears, i just wanted the pain to go away. mbut it couldn't. i finally stopped. i held onto my blood stained wrist tightly, i cried through the whole night.
