YouTuber One Shots (Closed)

Sutch (SeaNanners x Hutch)

(A/N: This goes out to @Kohai_Aburame . Thank you for the kind words and much needed support on finals! Sorry I took so long to get this out, I unwillingly had to take a break from Wattpad for a while. I hope you enjoy the oneshot!)

Shaun POV

"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry," I hear Adam crying over the phone as soon as I pick up. No surprise to me, of course. He does this every fucking time we fight, even though it usually ends up being my fault in the first place. Just like this time. I should be the one apologizing, not him. And it's time I man up to it.

My grip tightens on the steering wheel in my left hand and the phone in my right. "Shut the fuck up, Adam," I snap, causing him to finally do just that. The anger in my voice is from me being mad at myself, not him, but he probably doesn't realize that. I sigh and soften my tone. "Just... listen. I—"

I don't even have time to register what had happened before everything goes black.

Adam POV

*Two hours later*

Stress. As if I didn't already have enough of it, here it comes crashing into my life like a piano falling on me in the most classic way. Once we started fighting and yelling at each other, there was stress. When he slapped me then stopped out of the house, there was more stress. As soon as I heard him get into his car and speed down the road, there was even more stress.

If he hit me and was the one leaving, that means it had to be my fault, right? It's always my fault, isn't it? Even if I'm not the one who ever starts it, it's always my fault. I always do something wrong, and I always need to apologize.

So that's what I did. It's so driven into me at this point that I just instinctively felt guilt and reached for my phone to call him and apologize. But when he snapped at me and told me to, and I quote, 'shut the fuck up', there comes more stress. My immediate thoughts were things about how he was probably going to finally break up with me or just yell at me more about how stupid I am, as if I didn't already know that, but my thoughts were silenced when he sighed and softened his voice for once.

His tone sounded apologetic. My stress levels went down, but it was all temporary. He barely even got out two words before I hear the horrid sounds of what had to be a car crash and the line went dead. And this is to be added to the long list of things that are my fault.

Now I'm sitting here in the hospital waiting room, doing exactly that. Waiting. And waiting. And waiting. It gives me too much time to think about things, like the fact that he could die because of me. At least he'd be in Heaven then, because I'm sure dating me is like Hell. Why does he drag himself through this hell, then? Why would such a precious angel like himself do such a thing? He doesn't deserve this life, having to deal with having a boyfriend he just always fights with. He deserves someone better, someone who isn't me.

I've told him this plenty of times. He just doesn't get it. Then again, I can't think of a time where he ever actually verbally responded to me saying that, either. Wait, no, he did tell me to, and I quote again, 'shut the fuck up' once when I said it. Would our relationship be better if I was just mute? If I just never said anything?

Would it be better if I just lied? By telling him that we're perfect together, by telling him I have no doubt in my mind that he loves me? The doubt is always there, along with the stress. It's not unreasonable doubt, either; he's never— not once— said that he loves me back. And yet I still tell the probably awful truth: I love him. Even with this, I still love him for whatever reason. Part of me wishes I didn't, but the other part of me can't help it.