breathe; tree bros

two

they hadn't spoken since.

without warning, evan threw himself out of his seat, blushing when his foot got caught on his chair leg and he almost tripped. he caught himself just in time and left jared talking to himself about a kid evan was determined to apologise to.

"-and he gets all protective over zoe when he probably- hey, where are you going?"

he ignored jared and shuffled out of the room.

so, he had 10 minutes before lessons began. that gave him around 5 minutes to actually find connor. in that 5 minutes he had to figure out what to say. 3 minutes to apologise. 2 minutes to get back to class.

he went in the direction connor had gone, when jared had been interrogating him.

all the while, he was constructing the perfect apology in his mind. he repeated in his mind, begging himself not to stutter.

he made his way down the corridor, connor nowhere to be seen. so he went out the door that led to the back of the school.

and there was, crouched on the floor against the wall, connor murphy. he looked extremely uncomfortable and upset, smoking something that was very likely weed.

"u-uh, um- connor?"

he didn't respond, his gaze remained ahead.

"i-i- uh-" evan completely forgot what he'd rehearsed and he felt his chest tighten. connor turned to face him, the whites of his eyes tinged red and his pupils dilated. evan felt intimidated under his gaze.

he took a deep breath in. "j-jared was so rude back there, and- and i know i didn't do anyth- like i should have but... not like make fun of you, or anything, like stop jared, but he was rude and i didn't like do-  but like i still- i wanna apologise because- it was kinda bad that i- i mean- jared! it was bad what he said and i just..."
and evan trailed off till what he was saying became incomprehensible.

connor let out a dry laugh. evan stared at his shoes, longing for the world to just swallow him up. the redness in his face didn't subside, "it's whatever. you need to stop freaking out, didn't breathe once in that sentence."

"sorry."

"and you need to stop apologising. you didn't do anything."

"sor- okay."

"you want to say it again, don't you?"

"very much so, yes." connor then let out a more genuine laugh, throwing his head back.

there was silence.

"i read your letter the other day." a mix of bewilderment and confusion appeared on evan's face, and he opened his mouth to say something, but closed it immediately afterwards, not knowing how to respond.

perhaps reading evan's mind, connor clarified, "the letter you gave me after i pushed you over. i didn't read it till like, 4 days ago."

"oh."

"it's okay, i don't care that you like zoe, it was ju-"

"i don't like her anymore. i mean, not that she isn't great, because she is, i just mean- i don't like like her anymore. if you get what i mean." and evan wasn't lying. he thanked wikihow for the article on 'how to accept that your crush doesn't like you' for that.

now it was connor's turn to say, "oh."

silence once more lead to evan zoning out and being hypnotised by the curling smoke from the joint in connor's hand, the cloud dispersing as it rose.

"you want some?"

"huh?" he snapped out of his trance, and his brain moved sluggishly as he realised what connor meant, "oh go-god, no! i mean- no thanks."

connor shrugged, choosing not to over-analyse evan's answer and simply responded, "suit yourself."

the quiet was almost choking evan. should he leave? what should he say? is the conversation over?

"you should sit."

"but, uh, we have class."

"who cares, hansen? never skipped before?"

"well, uh, one- one time i, i uh lost my spanish homework? so i didn't go to -"

connor laughed again, but this time evan felt comfortable enough to join in.

"you look nice when you smile," evan blurted out, before his brain caught up with his voice and he smacked both his hands over his mouth. he muffled something behind his hands, his face bright red.

he removed his hands slowly and whispered, "i'm so sorry, i didn't mean it like, i mean you always look nice, but l-like- i mean, not like that- just meant like, oh my god, i'm so sorry." if evan had the courage to make eye contact, evan would have seen that connor was still smiling.

"thank you. come on, sit."
and hesitantly, he did.