Protecting Clay

Nightmares

Clay's POV

I was back at Jessica's house, the night Hannah and I got really, really close. I stood there, frozen as Hannah's arms bled and the ruby liquid dropped to the cream carpet. She screamed the same thing over and over and I couldn't get away from it.

"Why did you leave me, Clay? Why did you let this happen? I died because of you. You killed me Clay Jensen!"

I tried to block out her taunts but I couldn't so instead, I stood there just sobbing my lungs out.

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I'm sorry, Hannah."

Soon, I was in a different scene. I was on the big rock Tony took me to climb all those months ago. We were at the top and suddenly, Tony spins around to look at me.

"You killed Hannah Baker. I hate you! I can't believe I was ever your friend, you freak!"

I kept apologising. I couldn't lose Tony, not now. He was so important to me.

"Aw, poor little Clay. Is he about to cry? You gonna cry little baby?" He cooed. "You're so pathetic!"

All of a sudden, he leaped towards me and pushed me, hard. I stumbled back, getting worryingly close to the edge.

"Nobody loves you. Nobody wants you around. Just Leave. Just Die."

He pushed me one last time. This time, I fell. Right off the cliff. Quickly, I tumbled to the ground but just as I was about to be crushed, I saw the insides of Tony's room.

Tony's POV

I woke up to find Clay thrashing around and crying his eyes out. He kept muttering something although all I could make out was "Sorry". Out of the blue, he shot up; fully awake. His eyes were being drowned in fear and a horrendous amount of tears now flowed from his eyes like an overactive waterfall.

"Hey. Hey, Clay, it's alright. I got you. It was just a dream. Shhh." I grabbed him and pulled him closer to me, trying to calm him down.

"Tony. I....you....Hannah......don't wanna lose you." He continued to sob. At this point, I was a little confused. Why would Clay think he would lose me?

"Shhh, Clay, it's alright, you're not gonna lose me. I'm right here, it was just a nightmare." Without really thinking, I leaned down and kissed his forehead. He seemed to relax a bit at this and leaned in closer to me.

"Do you want to talk about what happened in the dream?" Clay only shook his head.

"C'mon Clay, I want to help. Talk to me."

"It's stupid." Clay mumbled.

"Clay, c'mon, it will only get worse if you don't talk about it." He seemed to give in at this point.

"Well, I was back at Jessica's party y'know, the night that Hannah and I were together. And she was standing there screaming about how I killed her and it was all my fault and...." Clay broke down again and all I could do was hug him.

"No, Clay, you can't keep doing this to yourself. Alright? It was Hannah's decision to do what she did and we all should have helped her more but we can't change that now. We just have to try and make up for our mistakes." Clay nodded but I felt as though there was something he wasn't telling me.

"Clay, was that all of your nightmare?" He clearly didn't particularly want to tell me but I could see he didn't like the thought of lying to me.

"Well, after that, I was on that huge rock you made us climb. We were both at the top and you started telling me the same things Hannah said and how....how n..nobody loves me and you couldn't believe you were ever my friend. You said I was a freak and th...that I should just d...d..die. And then you pushed me off the edge." The entire time he was telling me what he dreamt, my eyes kept getting bigger and bigger. I grabbed his shoulders and forced him to look at me.

"Listen to me Clay. I would never, ever say those things. Your parents love you, your friends love you...I love you, Clay Jensen. I swear that I will never hurt you and won't let anyone else hurt you either."

Clay's POV

The words comforted me to an extent that Tony wouldn't be able to comprehend. I curled back into his arms and fell back asleep not long after that. My dreams were clear of anything remotely traumatising for the rest of the night and into the early hours of the next day.