HER | ✓

⍣Thirteen⍣

"What can I get you?"

     Clayton didn't understand why he drove here. The place smelled of musk and old beer. Definitely not the kinda place he would've thought about driving to. The sun was setting outside and only a few people occupied the bar beside him. The dim indoor lighting gave way to two men playing a game of pool in the corner. Their beer guts spilled over the buttons of their jeans, and he wondered if he would look like that too when he reached sixty.

     "What can I get you?" the bartender asked again, louder this time.

     "Sorry, a beer would be nice."

     The man popped open a beer and slid it to him.

     He resumed watching the men play pool. The man with a beard like gandalf shot the eight ball into the corner and his friend slammed his beer on the table. "You dirty bastard!"

     He wondered who his friends would be when he reached their age. Would Jason still be as close to him then as he is now? Who would he be married to? Would he married at all? What was to come of his life as he got older? It didn't seem like he was going to get much farther than where he was right then.

     "What's brought you here?" the bartender asked.

     "I don't know." He didn't want to admit the truth.

     "You look too down to not know."

     "Thanks?"

     "I'm not sure it was a compliment."

     He looked him in the eye. "I don't really know. It feels stupid to talk about," he admitted.

     "Have another drink then. The name's Matthew by the way." Matthew cracked another beer, passing it to him.

     "Clayton." He lifted the beer.

     "Are you George's brother?" 

     He fell silent for a moment, unsure he should say anything. "Yeah...?" 

     Matthew smiled. "Tell him I said hi."

⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆

     A few beers later Clayton was ready to talk. "It don't feel so stupid anymore..."

     "Yeah?" Matthew gave him his full attention. There wasn't anyone else in the bar aside from them and the two elder men. It was either like this all the time or it was because of the holidays.

     "My brother is dating the gir--woman, I fell in love with years ago." There, it was out. Clayton should've felt lighter shouldn't he have? He should've felt like he just lifted a one ton brick off his shoulders, but letting the truth roll off his tongue made the situation truer. It pressed harder on his chest, making it nearly impossible for him breathe. He should be over this. He shouldn't still be stuck on her. It was years ago.

     "Wow... I... did not expect that one." Matthew grabbed a glass and started cleaning it. 

     "Neither did I." Clayton took a large sip. How many beers had he had?

     "Does he... you know... know?" Matthew glanced at him.

     "Nope." Clayton lost count of the beers he had.

     "You haven't told him?"

     "Nope." One. Two. Three. Four?....

     "What's stopping you?"