The drive to the local store was long and mostly silent. Farah sat in the passenger seat fidgeting with the necklace around her neck. Somehow she landed herself in the most awkward situation she could've ever imagined, only hoping Clayton didn't strike conversation on the way, but deep down she knew chatter would be necessary.
She stared at the vast blanket of white, wracking her brain for something she could possibly say first. An icebreaker if you will. Anything to ease the nervous tension built between them. She peaked at him through the veil of her hair when she pretended to look at the pendant between her fingers. Holding the wheel with both hands, his posture suggested he was in control.
"So how has it been?" He struck conversation first, just as she feared.
"Umm..." her throat felt like a chunk of flim was stuck in it. She cleared her throat before speaking again. "Umm... it's been alright."
It's been alright? Is that the best Farah West could possibly come up with? We're talking about Farah. Business Tycoon Farah. She knew how to speak to people, and how to get herself out of less than comfortable situations. She could do better than this!
"Everything's been great actually!" Lie.
"I'm glad to hear that." His finger tapped the steering wheel. "So what are you now? A businesswoman?"
"Yes, a corporate business manager to be exact," she replied, still not looking at him. Eye contact makes room for a disaster. She already made the mistake of doing twice... or was it three times? She couldn't remember nor did it matter as long as it didn't happen again.
"Fancy. Did she do it because they wanted her to or did she do it because she changed her mind?" He threw the question out there like he had wanted to ask her the whole time.
The question made her nervous.
She took a deep shaky breath. "I did it for them... and for Charlotte." Telling him shouldn't be a big deal. It should be natural but she closed her eyes and leaned her head back. For the few seconds of silence he allotted after her revelation, she was able to pretend she wasn't in the truck at all.
When Clayton did speak she expected him to ask why she didn't follow her dream but instead he asked, "Is she mine?"
That particular question was as far away from her mind as mars is away from earth. Then again you can still see mars if you look hard enough through a telescope. She should've seen it coming sooner or later.
"Yes." One word. One syllable. Yet spoken without feeling or thought.
He grew mad and stomped the brake. She thrashed forward, the seat belt tightened against her chest. Then she collapsed back in the seat and her head slammed against the headrest.
"What the hell?" Her tone was accusing and her eyes snapped to him for the first time since they hopped into his chevy. He didn't answer or look at her. He stared straight ahead at the empty snow covered road. The tire marks from the previous driver passing through were quickly being covered with freshly fallen flakes. His knuckles grew white as his fists gripped stronger and his jaw tightened as he clenched his teeth together in reserve. When his eyes flicked to hers they showed indignation, dejection and most of all misery.
"Why didn't you tell me? Or at least try to find me? I would've been there for you. Imagine how I feel knowing that all this time I've had a daughter. It hurts to know you were that selfish," he said.
She stayed quiet. He was right. She was selfish.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
He felt bad and sighed. "No I'm sorry. I couldn't begin to imagine what it would've been like being a single parent."
"It was tough, but I made it through." She nodded.
"At least you have my brother to help now though," he spoke with mild distaste and put his foot on the gas.
"Yeah, I guess I do.." her voice sounded far away and it didn't miss his ear. He wanted to ask why. Wasn't George a good partner to have?
"What was Charlotte like as a baby?" he asked instead.
She thought about this a moment. "Charlotte used to be a handful. Nothing like she is now."
"Yikes. What else?"
"Mmm... there's a lot, I don't know where to begin." She dreamed of the day, once or twice, where she would sit down and tell him about everything he missed out on. In those days she didn't think her daydream would ever come true and now she was floundering.
"Just start anywhere." He nudged her side.
Anywhere. There were a lot of possibilities for anywhere. Too much stuff to cover. Too many things to talk about. It's not like she had her scrapbook to guide her. There were nine months of pregnancy. Dozens of exciting milestones reached over the years; first words, crawling, walking, birthdays, school. The possibilities were endless. But she settled on Charlotte's birth.
"Um... she was born on time," she began. "Very sweet, very precious, had my heart the moment I saw her."
This caught his interest. "Yeah? How so?"
The rest of the ride to the store was filled with Farah talking bit by bit about Charlotte. It didn't feel right. It felt awkward. He should've been there for it all. He should be the one telling stories as well, not receiving them.
He wanted to believe he was there for it all, that him and Farah didn't lose each other back then. That Charlotte was sitting at home baking cookies with grandma, waiting for ma and pa to return. When they returned she'd jump up and down, excited to show them the cookies she made. Reality wasn't so nice though, and came crashing into him when the store came into view. The daydreaming about events that never did, or never will happen needed to stop. He needed to learn to accept this or he would without a doubt cause problems for himself. What he didn't know was it would cause problems for the others involved as well.
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AN: So I was bit nervous about this chapter. I lost my original idea for it before I was able to write it down. But did it feel natural to you guys? Please let me know.
Alsoooo over the course of the last 4 days Her. climbed to a rank of #277 in Chicklit! So thank you a bunch girls (& guys?) for making this feat possible! <3<3
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ChickLit"We can't let him know," she whispered. "We don't have to let him know." "This isn't right," she began, but he silenced her with his lips. ••• Clayton Jones is a broken hearted man. But he wasn't before her. Before Farah West. He's tried to let g...
