He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

Stick With The Balloon

John leaned against the counter, placing his chin on his hands and breathing heavily, sounding as if he had just been pulled from the ocean or something. John couldn't see either of his guests, but somehow he knew Sherlock's eyes were on him, he knew because whenever those beautiful eyes were fixed on him the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. He could feel that lingering nervousness, the inability to relax and the need to impress. Somehow he had to look as beautiful and as desirable as possible, he needed to make Sherlock love him even more, if that was even possible. Sherlock hadn't been very open with his emotions, but for some reason John still got the impression that Sherlock's little heart was struggling just to keep up. The coffee maker buzzed and John poured everyone large cups, putting the sugar and cream out for them to use as they would like. Sherlock looked rather disappointed to see that the coffee wasn't black, but John wasn't going to make it since Sherlock was the only one he knew that enjoyed such a harsh drink. John mixed in some sugar to his coffee and leaned against the back counter, watching as Hamish and Redbeard chased each other around the house with Hamish's tennis balls from back when he wanted to play tennis. One lesson in and he had changed his mind, wanting to play soccer instead. He was a very confusing boy, especially at a young age, so they had a lot of miscellaneous sports equipment lying about the house. John remembered one time Mary got so angry because she had spent so much on tennis equipment for him, John had to take Hamish out for ice cream to avoid her wrath. That had only been a stepping stone to the divorce, or at least something that gave John the sneaking suspicion that this marriage might not be the best thing. Looking back, John wondered where Mary had gone during that whole ordeal. Probably to Charles's house, being the lying dirty awful woman she was.
"So, Mrs. Hudson, any good restaurants around here, cheap ones?" Sherlock wondered, breaking John's loathing train of thought.
"Oh do I ever, I know every restaurant in a fifty mile radius." Mrs. Hudson said proudly.
"Get out too much do you? Or just spend too much time on Yelp?" John wondered, sipping his coffee innocently. Sherlock smiled proudly at him, as if John had taken the words right out of his mouth.
"Why do you ask Sherlock?" Mrs. Hudson wondered, completely ignoring John's question as if she were ashamed of the answer. Sherlock looked awkwardly down at his coffee, as if ashamed to admit the real reason.
"Oh, you know, just wondering." He muttered, sneaking a quick look up to John before seeing John was staring right back.
"He wants to know where we can go on our next date. He's just too humble to admit it." John pointed out, and Sherlock sighed heavily.
"I'm not humble, I just didn't know if you didn't want to discuss this in front of Mrs. Hudson." Sherlock admitted, poking at his coffee and watching ripples overtake the dark surface.
"Then why did you bring it up?" John wondered, and Sherlock seemed to curl into even more of a mental ball of shame.
"He doesn't want to boast but he wants someone to do it for him." Mrs. Hudson offered, and John nodded in agreement.
"It was just a question." Sherlock said very quietly, his cheeks blushing in shame.
"It's alright Sherlock, she knows we're dating, it's a fair question." John assured. It was rather funny to admit out loud that they were dating, it still seemed like John had to hide his emotions in public, to be so open about a homosexual relationship, it felt like this was some sort of weird dream instead of reality.
"Well I'd say the Ironworks Pub is the place to go, amazing burgers, fries, beer, the whole works. And the chocolate cake is phenomenal." Mrs. Hudson offered.
"Brilliant, sounds perfect, I'm always up for a good burger." John agreed.
"I'm paying this time; in fact I should pay for the next two times considering you paid last time." Sherlock decided. John had to admit, that was fair, but then again he could never let Sherlock do that.
"You repaid me by just showing up, and besides, I had to impress you, didn't I?" John pointed out.
"You could've impressed me with no more than a bag of corn chips, I'm paying." Sherlock decided, crossing his arms as if his mind was set. John just shook his head, knowing that this wasn't going to work out very well, let the battle of niceness begin.
"We'll decide later." John decided, finishing this argument before it started.
"How was the sushi there?" Mrs. Hudson wondered.
"I thought you knew every restaurant in a fifty mile radius?" John pointed out, looking to Sherlock for help.
"Yes, you should know this already Mrs. Hudson, or were you lying?" Sherlock wondered with a teasing little smile. Mrs. Hudson held up her hands defensively, as if not wanting to be falsely accused of anything.
"I've been there only once, a long time ago, and I heard they switched owners so I was curious to see how it would turn out." Mrs. Hudson admitted.
"False advertising." John decided, taking a sip of his coffee and glaring at Mrs. Hudson from behind the rim of his cup.
"Most definitely." Sherlock agreed, smiling a little bit but taking a sip of his coffee as well, as if to try to look more intimating than he actually was. It didn't take long for their cups to drain and their conversations to dwindle, and once they had made a time and place for their date, Sherlock and Mrs. Hudson decided it was time for them to get going. It ended up being perfect timing, however, because as soon as they got up from their stools, Hamish came running in claiming that he needed a new tennis ball because they had lost the old one. So with some awkward goodbyes and a small little wave for Sherlock, John closed the door and was all alone once more.
"When's your next date?" Hamish wondered.
"Tuesday night, five o'clock, at some pub." John admitted with a dreamy little sigh.
"You're going to need a baby sitter." Hamish decided.
"I'm going to need a new outfit; I can't wear the same thing." John groaned.
"Oh come on daddy, you've got two days to plan for it, relax." Hamish insisted.
"It's impossible to relax when he's so BEAUTIFUL!" John yelled, making Hamish jump back in shock.
"Sorry, got carried away there." John muttered guilty, and Hamish just laughed.
"At least I know what you really think." Hamish decided, and John just shook his head in amusement. No Hamish, you don't even know the half of it.
"He really likes you too, I saw him watching you when you put the Band-Aid on, he looked entranced." Hamish pointed out, and John just laughed rather guiltily.
"Did he really?" John asked hopefully.
"Oh ya, you're not the only one breathtakingly in love." Hamish agreed with a little laugh. John sighed in relief, even though he already knew this it was good to have a second opinion.
"Brilliant, that definitely makes my day." John decided.
"You should marry him." Hamish suggested. John just smiled hopefully, shrugging a little bit and looking at his son, wondering where he got all of these wild ideas from.
"Maybe someday, but I'm going to wait to make sure I'm making the right choice before I go making another irresponsible decision." John decided.
"Are you saying that marrying Mommy was a mistake?" Hamish wondered.
"I'm not saying that." John lied, even though that was very obviously what he had been getting at.
"It's alright, I know it was. I know that she didn't make you happy." Hamish assured. John sighed heavily, not wanting his son to get any of the wrong ideas, or in this case, the right ones.
"That's very mature of you Hamish, but know this, I don't regret having you at all. In fact, I'm pretty sure you're the only good thing that happened in all of my years of knowing that woman. You're the only thing I don't want to give back." John admitted. Hamish smiled proudly, as if he were proud to be appreciated by his father.
"Thanks daddy, I love you too." he agreed, and with that he pranced up to his room, leaving John alone to walk over to the couch and sit down heavily. He stared at the blank TV screen for a moment, thinking about Sherlock, thinking about what a lovely future he could have with that man, with that beautiful man. He knew that he hadn't even scratched the surface on everything that made Sherlock perfect, there were still so many things undiscovered about his personality. Of course these traits were probably just as good as the rest of him, but John also wondered if it was all too good to be true. Was he once again falling into a pit of hopeless love, blinded by the beautiful face and universe eyes, too busy picturing their wedding to take into consideration all of Sherlock's other traits. What if he turned out to be a horrible man, what if he was very controlling, or too shy to go to family parties, what if he snored? These were all bad things that John hadn't considered until now, bad things that John needed to cross off his list before he blindly pledged himself once more. Then again, Sherlock Holmes seemed to be perfect all around, if not the man, what else could go wrong?