Damaged | Magcon Boys

Chapter 3

As we drove to dinner, I zoned out listening to my music. I noticed how Cam took my phone off my lap and started going through my music.

I smiled as he picked an old song, one that we used to sing for hours on end.

He grabbed an earbud and started listening with me, then when our part came on he started belting the lyrics out with no hesitation, but I was not going to sing with all of the guys in the car.

"HEY THERE DELILAH I KNOW THAT TIMES ARE GETTING HARD, BUT BELIEVE ME GIRL ONE DAY I'LL PAY THE BILLS WITH THIS GUITAR, WE'LL HAVE IT GOOD."

That got everyone's attention, and I quickly blushed and looked down, not wanting the attention.

I grab my phone out of Cam's hand and changed the song, to a random Justin Bieber song, then smile when I realize it's my favorite, Backpack.

Cam gives me a weird look as I start moving my lips to the lyrics, and yanks the earbud out of his ear, not appreciating that I chose my music to Justin Bieber.

I've gotten used to these behavioral changes in him. When things annoy him, he immediately changes his attitude towards you. I roll my eyes, and lay my head on Shawn's shoulder until we get to the restaurant.

Once we walk in and get seated, the seating arrangements push me down to the end of the table, away from everyone, near where their security guard and manager sit.

I take out my earbuds, not wanting to be rude, and listen to the excitement I hear around me, and wish I was a part of it, or to at least feel welcomed.

The waitress returns with our drinks, and everyone orders. Shawn is sitting diagonal from me, and scowls at me when I order a side salad.

I just look down, and play with my fingers until the food arrives. I didn't want to gain too much weight on this trip, and I flushed my meds yesterday for this reason.

Once the food comes and we are all done eating, we all pile back into the limo and head back to the hotel.

The guys invite me to come watch a movie in Matt and Carter's room, and I run to put on sweats and my old hoodie Shawn gave me awhile back.

I let my hair out of its braid, pleased with the small waves it left behind. I touch up my makeup, and walk back to their room to see blankets and pillows all over the floor.

I plop down in between the only two guys I've actually held a conversation with today, Cam and Shawn.

The movie starts playing and I realize it's one of the Paranormal Activity movies. I quickly latch onto Cam, and nuzzle my face into his chest whenever a scary part comes on, biting back my screams.

Scary movies make my anxiety go up horribly, and I pray that I don't have an anxiety attack during this movie. That would no doubt make the guys afraid of me.

I feel the tears slipping out my eyes and feel my muscles tighten. I sense Cam look down at me and he realizes what's happening.

He picks me up and nudges Shawn to follow, and they take me back across to our room. While we walk out the door, the guys ask about where we are going, and that's when the first sob shakily escapes my pursed lips.

"T-they can't s-see me like t-this." I stutter out, only to be shushed by Cam as he sets me on my bed and slides in next to me.

"It's ok Mckenzie, we aren't in there anymore, let it out." Cam whispers lowly in my ear, rubbing my back to comfort me.

Shawn walks back to the guys' room, probably to give them a dumb excuse on why we left so abruptly.

But I continue to let the sobs rake through my body, and let out all the stress from the past few days. I don't deserve to be here with the guys, I'm worthless.

After about an hour of me bawling into Cam's shirt, the tears let up and I feel my muscles loosen up. I know what will help.

"C-cam, will you grab my phone?" I ask while sitting up and leaning against the bed's headboard.

"Of course baby girl." He nods as he runs to grab my phone I left in the other room.

I get up and walk over the the bathroom, and wash my face and pull my hair into a messy bun while looking at my reflection.

My body slouched as if I'd been working in the fields all day, and all the color has drained from face, making me look like I'd fade away like a ghost. I hear Cam come back into the room, and I scramble out of the bathroom.

He hands me my phone as I sit on the bed next to him. I turn on my music, enjoying the soft melody playing as I hear the first guitar notes of 'I won't give up' by Jason Mraz.

"Thank you Cameron. I'm sorry you had to miss the rest of the movie." I look down shamefully as he wraps his strong arms around me.

"You needed me Mckenzie. It's fine, it honestly is. I knew it was bad idea that you were watching the movie with us, but hey. It's getting late, you should get some sleep. Goodnight, sweet dreams." We pull away from the hug and he starts walking out of the room, and softly closes the door behind him.

Shawn's POV

"What happened back there man?" Carter asks me as I return back into the room and I decide on telling them the truth.

"She has bad anxiety and she can't handle scary movies. The movie caused her heart to speed up, which caused an anxiety attack. That one wasn't as bad as the ones in the past, where she loses control of her body and can't breathe. But she was also embarrassed, so that caused more stress, hence the crying."

I look down, and feel like I should be comforting her with Cameron, but I know he knows how to take care of her.

"But why wouldn't she just tell us she couldn't handle the movie? We could've done something about it." Jack J says hesitantly.

"She was too shy and scared of what you guys would think. She's overly self conscious, and that's what caused her depression. Anything can trigger her, so that's why she's so quiet. She's constantly thinking about the negatives."

The guys look at me sympathetically, but I don't want to ruin their night.

"Let's start the movie back. I haven't seen this one yet!" I say as I plop down next to Aaron, and we continue the movie.

By the time it's over, Cam has returned and let me know Mckenzie is going to bed.

I thank him, and turn back to catching up with the guys.