~27~Uncertainty

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  Uncertainty is killing me
And I'm certainly not asleep
Maybe I've gone far to deep
Maybe I'm just far to weak
Ands that's the last place
I want to be the last place


And there is so much we don't know
So we love and we hope that it holds

Thousands were lost maybe more
The question remains, what is this for?
Maybe it came unexpected
Maybe I'm left unprotected  
 

  ~The Fray "Uncertainty"

Life is unpredictable, one second you live diligently, like you couldn't afford wasting more precious time and the next you frittered away, wishing you could do anything else but live. It was the same with Alicia, she wished she hadn't come back to life, she wished she hadn't met Zach, she wished she hadn't died and least of all, she wished she hadn't gone to see Raina. What was she supposed to do now that she knew Zach killed her? Everything was a mistake, her life was a big fat mistake and if she could, she would have turned back time to when she wasn't born, when she didn't exist.   

  Her slender body raked with sobs, as the bleak skies thundered and rumbled above. A splash of heavy rain permeated like tiny darts of ice through the open windows. The bleakness reflected exactly how she felt. She shivered and walked towards the windows, a harsh breeze brushed her pale skin as she forced it closed.   

  Why did it have to be Zach? He seemed so perfect, he couldn't have than that to her. Her eyes dripped with hot tears as her heart pounded achingly in her chest. The hurt run too deep. The golden carriage clock hanging above her headboard made a loud tick-tock sound as it stroke on 1am. She dabbed her eyes clean with the ends of her nightie and fell on her bed.    

  After she got back from the sanatorium, she rushed to Ana Perla's room and told her what she had found out. "Zach did it Ana. Zach killed me." she'd said. Ana Perla tightly hugged her, walked her back to her room and cosied her to sleep. Alicia's obstinate eyes snapped open as soon as Ana Perla left and she hadn't been able to sleep since.    

  Instead, she stared blindly at her walls, dreading every second and minute that passed, because she knew at a point, she would have to come up with something. She was only here to solve the mystery behind her death and now that she was an inch closer to knowing the truth, she wanted to give up. She knew with all her heart that she was never going to kill Zach even if she was forced to.   

She finally let out a loud yawn and turned to face the beautiful mural on the vertical walls. Like a hypnotizing spell, the patterns of the mural lulled her eyes to an intermittent slumber.

It was soon morning, by then Alicia had already come up with a plan. She woke up with a big smile that could have brightened even the darkest of all clouds, which seemed to be a permanent fixture in Woodwave. She got dressed, and run down the stairs, to the kitchen where her new family was already lounging and babbling the day away.

Ana Perla stopped talking when Alicia walked in, she gave Magdalene and Brenda a look which told them not to say anything that would tick Alicia off, because frankly, they all knew what a mess the young miss had been these pass few days. "How are you doing," Ana Perla asked.

Alicia pulled out a kitchen stool and sat by her, "I'm doing great," She said in high spirits, her eyes darting to where Brenda and Magdalene stood, "Brenda please get me some of those mouth watering French cakes I'm starving,"

Ana Perla gaped at her, wondering why she was so happy all a sudden. It's not like she had a problem with her being happy, but the girl had been so gloomy to the extent that she never thought she would ever see her smile again. Ana Perla had to admit, it was refreshing seeing Alicia like this, it lay all her worries to rest. "What are doing Brenda, she said she is hungry." Ana Perla repeated, beaming with smiles. "How was your night?" She asked, inhaling the invigorating smell of the cafe au lait she held. She took a sip and lifted her eyes to Alicia over the kitchen island.

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