Critics column - 2

Review - 1

UserName: Writers_Wonderland13

@Writers_Wonderland

Title: The Lost Girl I Fell in Love With Carl Grimes X Reader

The title is wordy but it has a romantic tinge in it. Though the word "Lost" is bugging me a lot.

Cover: It’s basically a text slapped on an image. But it quite suits your theme and though not appealing or creative, it’s okay.

Summary: I will say, this is a very poor and amateurish work. The summary has no punctuation AT ALL. Neither can it grab any interest. To attract readers, one of the most important things a book need is a proper blurb. And you have literally nothing of that. The question of conflict has also lost its charm among the mess you have created.

Story: Honestly, the story is not at all engrossing. It literally has nothing to enjoy. The writing style is very poor. So is the grammar. You don’t have a proper punctuation in the sentences used. They are so poorly structured. Even you have problems with “Your” and “you’re”, “there” and “they’re”.

You should give a name to the MC. If a reader is not available, then make it a normal novel only. It feels awkward reading her as Y/N always. Also, the writing is too bland. You have no descriptions, emotions, nothing. Even the MCs are not described properly. None of the characters could touch my heart.

So many POV changes? Now that is a total dampener. You don’t give the time to settle down with one POV and Bam! There’s another POV. Even you have your own comments in between. Either make it a single POV (which is the proper way to be a professional author) or keep two POVs in alternate chapters. Also, only two-three lines per POV doesn’t make justice to the characters.

You say the MC is a badass. And then all she does is to ‘blush hard’ everytime Carl is there and do catfighting with Enid? There are so many holes in her characterization. Also, she says she went to kill the Walkers in such a way as if she had gone to the market, or had gone for a morning stroll. Heights of being a badass! I tell you.

The MC is always thinking about Carl and making her moves so obvious and then she is so dense that she doesn’t even realize her love! Intelligence unjustified, I tell you.

I actually feel bad for the MC because all these three years she was alone in the jungle, fending for herself, while her family was in a basecamp. You never mention about her life in these three years. That would have shown how she became what she is now.

Overall, you need an editor immediately. Also, there are loads of plotholes which you have to fix. To become a better writer, you should start mastering the art with more perfection. To take the book to heights, you have to totally do a makeover. And you have to be much more serious about your passion.

Rating: 3/10.

Good Luck! :)

By - HerSpectre