The Stars Lie {Myrnin, Morganville Vampires}

Scary Bitch

If she would let me.

As much as I wanted to be certain she would choose me, I knew her decision was far from made and could go either way.

She had saved me.

But he had saved her.

Yes, Rhysian physically kept her from plunging that dagger into her chest. But, how long would it have been before she tried again? Would he have been there the next time? I cringed away from the picture of Claire trying to hurt herself. But I knew her and I had felt it in her emotions when she broke down, screaming at me over the vodka. There would have been a next time. I was certain of it.

The only thing that had truly kept her alive was his return – a part of me, which had broken off centuries ago, evolving into his own separate consciousness, but irrevocably linked to my mind. I almost wished we could trade places. That I did not have to bear the knowledge of both timelines. If it were the other way around; if I only saw my history, not both, I think there would be a certain measure of bliss in that ignorance.

As quickly as that notion came though, I suppressed it, because I knew the truth. As crushingly painful as it had been – to watch her fall in love with him, make love to him – I would rather have lived a thousand life-times with that tortured bliss, than the horror of never seeing her again.

"Hey!" Rhysian hissed at me. "Get your shit together and your head back in the game!"

I nodded hard. He was right. I couldn't allow emotion – any kind of emotion – to take over me now. He was surprisingly perceptive. As much as I hated it, I was glad that Claire had him.

And we were close now, one more turn...

Now that we were within such close proximity of each other, I sensed a tangible thread of connection. Of course, I had always felt connected to him, but this was different. This was a strange energy that ebbed and breathed. I didn't know if it radiated from him or from me, or both.

He stopped and spoke with his back to us, "Must you always show up uninvited?"

"You should be thankful we're here, before you find out the hard way how suicidal, confronting Anwyn, can be."

He looked back at me scornfully, "I've got this."

"No. You don't got this. You have no idea what you are headed to."

He hissed, mockingly, "I know exactly where I am headed – to clean up your mess."

"You may have dispatched one of her little minions, but she is a completely different animal."

"I am well acquainted with who she is. I defeated her once before. If I recall, Claire was in danger, again, by your doing, not mine."

"No, I was nowhere around when you decided you would seduce Claire, knowing Anwyn was in close proximity, in the castle."

He smirked. "—saw that too, did you? We really need to discuss this nasty voyeur habit you have – always watching and staring at me. Ew..." 1409 Myrnin extended the last word with exaggerated distaste.

I rolled my eyes, "Believe me. You aren't much to look at."

A steely glint sparked in his gaze as he purred, "—but Claire is. Is that why you watch?" he taunted.

My hands clenched into fists. I knew Claire expected us not to kill each other, but that didn't mean I couldn't inflict a little pain.

I saw his eyes acknowledge my shift in position, but he continued as though I wasn't less than a second away from attacking him. "Of course, the things you must have seen her do – to me – it really does make me blush."