The Stars Lie {Myrnin, Morganville Vampires}

Pink Ponies

"Rest now, love. We have much to discuss when you wake up," he murmured.

Claire wasn't sure how long she had been asleep when she finally stirred. She looked around; trying to get her bearings, but the room was dark. "Myrnin?" she spoke so softly that she barely heard the words come out of her mouth, but she knew he could hear her, if he was anywhere in the lab.

He walked into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. "Hello, love...you look much more rested. How did you sleep?"

"Good..." she spoke tentatively.

There was understanding in his eyes. They needed to talk, but she didn't know where to begin. Claire bit her lip. Myrnin gazed at her intently, making it difficult for her to breathe, as he waited for her to speak. She knew the question that burned in his eyes – why did her emotions dip so suddenly and severely during their meeting? But what words were possible, that could both answer his question and not hurt him, at the same time? She twisted her hands together.

"Is it that bad?" Myrnin murmured when she remained silent.

She glanced up. "No..." she breathed quickly, trying to soothe the pain evident in his eyes. "It's...just that sometimes you...remind me of him."

"...and the thought of him still causes you pain?"

Claire nodded from under her eyelashes.

"Is this...not enough?" he spoke earnestly, wanting to know the truth, as he stood and stepped away from the bed.

"What?" Claire asked in surprise, reaching her hand out reflexively to stop him from backing away from her. "Of course...of course it is!"

He shook his head and stepped further from her outstretched hand.

Claire was stunned by her body's reaction. A shockingly strong pain assaulted her senses at his rejection; her face crumpled and she clutched her pillow against her chest to try to keep the pieces of herself together.

Myrnin was by her side instantly, struck by her sudden rush of sorrow. "I'm sorry," he whispered urgently as he stroked her hair and held her tightly.

"I...can't lose you..." she murmured against his chest, still trying to manage the building panic attack threatening to bubble out of her throat, at the mere idea of being without him.

"You will never lose me," he swore to her fervently.

She hiccupped slightly as she regulated her airflow, "Even if...thoughts of the past...still cause me pain sometimes?"

"I would never turn my back on your sorrow...I just need to understand what it means...I am a guy you know," he spoke softly, nudging her chin up to smile at her. "Why don't you just walk me though what you were thinking about during the meeting?"

Claire breathed in deeply to steady herself and kept her head buried against his chest as she spoke, "There were some things that...surprised me...about your mental abilities..."

"Yes..." he acknowledged.

"Wondering why he never told me, suddenly brought me back to that day...the day that he...you...changed my life."

"Tell me about it," he whispered.

Claire shook her head, "You cannot want to know that....I....won't hurt you like that."

"I do...want to know...I have often wondered what brought us together."

Claire searched his eyes. His face was smooth and calm. Her mouth curved into a small smile as she remembered, "We worked together. I came to the lab almost daily in between my college studies. But, I was dating someone else."