Problems (girlxgirl)

Chapter 21

I closed my eyes and yelled back "Just a minute!" making sure my scarred up arm was covered.

I checked my blotchy face in the mirror.  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath putting everything that just happened behind me. I shoved all of the thoughts running through my head to the back, replacing them with events I could talk about.

I shook as I walked towards my mothers door, afraid of what was coming next.

"Sit down Lily" My mother said pointing at the bed.

My stomach dropped to the floor as I stumbled to the bed, plastering a fake smile, pretending not to know the interrogation that was coming.

In panic I started blabbering "So today at school Mr. Bevil was being really mean. He wouldn't let me answer any questions or pass out any papers. He wouldn't even let me sit up front and if you did not notice I'm not the tallest girl." I said laughing remembering the look on my classmates faces when he said I had to sit in the back.

"Lily I know about you and Stacy" my mom replied ignoring my entire statement.

My mind froze, my heart raced, and my breaths speed up with adrenaline.

My words vibrated as they shot out of my mouth before I could contemplate her sentence. "What do you mean 'you know'" I said putting quotes around you know with my index and middle finger.

"You know what I mean" She blurted in frustration, glaring at me. Her eyes turned to ice that penetrated my already broken heart, turning it to a frozen glacier.

At the second those words exited her lips I stopped caring. I went numb. I looked her straight in the eye with a blank expression. I replied  "Ok" with a shrug of my shoulders to top it off.

I could see the frustration grow in her eyes as she clenched her fists. "Lily!" She paused to get herself together "Are you dating Stacy?" she said more calmly. I could tell one touch would break this wall of frustration to sympathy.

"I'm not friends with Abby anymore" I said calmly and nonchalantly, as if the previous conversation did not exist.

I could feel her freeze at my words, and burn dark holes into the side of my face.

"What happened?" She said plopping herself on the bed next to me.

"I'm not perfect enough for her." I said plainly. She stared at me wanting more of an explanation. I fought tears as I explained "One of her stupid friends made up a rumor about Abby and blamed me about it. And of course she believes her over me because I'm a ugly loser." I said as the tears ran past my chin down my front.

I knew she did not care. No one cared. She had to at least pretend to because she's my mother. frustration grew in my sole as she patted my back and said nothing.

I stopped crying and explained a way Stacy was related to the issue.

"Stacy is one of the only friends I have left. Yeah I know we are more then that. Yeah I know you don't like it. But I can't lose her. she's not just my crush, I love her. She's the only person who actually cares about me" I said looking straight in her eyes. The only thing I wanted right now was Stacy. I could feel her being ripped away from me.

"Lily I understand." My heart raised up at those words. I sighed with slight relief that I would at least have her.

"But." she paused. "You cannot have anymore interaction with Stacy. You cannot sit with her in class. You can not text her. You cannot see her at youth group. You cannot have any interaction of any kind with Stacy Ridgeway." She said as if she was taking away my television rights for a week.

My mouth dropped at the words coming out of her mouth. Before I could object she blurted "And give me the password to your phone." sticking her hand out waiting for me to place it in her palm.

Another panic followed as I remember the messages to Stacy about the sex we had had. I reluctantly choked up my phone and password. Then I anxiously watched her scroll through my messages and games.

I got the occasional command not to do something I was doing. More of it was embarrassment. I had really crushed on Stacy. I did not want my mother reading our messages.

When she felt as if she had enough she turned over my phone back to me. "You know I'm doing this for you. I love you." she said sincerely.

"I love you too" I replied as I leaned in for a hug before getting up to go to my room.

"Wait." She said catching my attention.

I glanced back at her waiting for her next order.

"I want to see you tell Stacy to make sure you do." she said gesturing for me to get back on the bed.

Does she really just want to watch me get tortured?

I plopped on the bed and said "What do you want me to say?" obviously frustrated and angry.

"Tell her you cannot talk or text or anything anymore and she is not to tell anyone about it" My mom said like she could not wait for this to end. Glad torturing me is fun for you mom.

I typed the message I'm sorry Stacy. we cannot see each other anymore. We can't talk, or text at all. My mom does not want us to tell anyone either. I'm sorry Stacy. I love you.

I showed the message to my mother before I sent it and asked "Good?" holding back more tears.

"Take off the I love you." She said heartlessly.

I erased the I love you and sent the message. With in seconds I got a reply.

Lily please don't leave me. I love you. I need you. She said.

I could feel the stab in my heart. I shook as I typed to her I love you too Stacy. I'm sorry. I can't stay. Goodbye.

Tears streamed down my face. I choked on my tears and gagged on my spit. I scratched my chest leaving red marks across it. I stared at the ground shaking trying to control my sobs.

I got a message from Stacy I'm sorry too. Goodbye... Lily...

I could not even bare to respond to her message.

I calmed myself down and checked the time on my phone. 10:37.

I closed my eyes showing the tiredness of my body to my mother. "I'm tired. Can I go to bed?" I asked calmly.

"Are you ok?" she asked as if she cared.

"Yeah I'm just tired." I replied getting up.

"I love you" She said hoping I would say it back.

In guilt I responded "I love you too" reaching out for a light hug. Then I began to exit quickly trying to end the torture.

"Put your phone in the living room" She said quickly before I could exit. I nodded and did as she said.

I plugged it into the wall and went to my room. I shuffled papers off of my bed and shut out the lights. I did not care enough to clean anything up.

I stripped, not bothering to wear pajamas that night. I crawled into bed. I let my eyes droop down. I let my imagination run miles away from here. Dreaming was the only thing that I had left to keep me sane.

I do not care about Cameron.

I do not care about Abby.

I just want Stacy back. Please.