Audrey Hepburn's Pearls: Part II

Chapter 110.1: 1995, Ruiz

Chapter 110.1: 1995, Ruiz

I'd taken a shower, washing away the blood on my face. I'd put my own clothes on, just a mid-length black skirt and a red puffy sleeved blouse. I'd cried when I held that blouse. It was red, like the blood had been on my face, from my own Mama's hand.

In the living room, I'd begun straightening a cushion on the couch, and from there I'd cleaned the whole house. Laundry, everything. Anything to get my mind off of what happened. My little cousins enjoying their Easter, completely oblivious. The rainbow colored eggs, the happy green Easter grass in their baskets...

Thinking about them from time to time throughout the day had made me tear up, but I couldn't think about that. I'd wanted to see them so much. Maybe more than anything else. But no, more than anything else, I knew, I'd wanted to have a normal Easter. A new normal, where everybody was happy and I could run around looking pretty and nobody would care. It would be normal, and I'd chase after my little cousins barefoot on the grass because my heels might sink into the grass. I'd never been on grass in high heels, so I didn't know.

I wanted to know.

I wanted to unwrap a Cadbury crème egg and see which one of us could eat theirs the fastest. I'd go slow, so they could win. They'd be so happy.

I'd be so happy...but that would never happen.

On the couch now, it was late at night. Past eleven. Where were Miss Cha Cha and Georgina? Did they leave me, too? What was I going to do? But that was stupid. Where were they? Were they okay?

I'd made dinner, expecting them back. Now it was tin foiled in the fridge. Just some spaghetti in a pot with some sauce. I'd eaten some, but they never came home. I was worried, but I trusted them. But now at eleven?

It was dark in the room. I didn't want to turn on any lights. Maybe I'd lay down on the couch, wait for them.

Just as I was laying down, the familiar key in the lock sounded in the hallway. I sat up on the couch. Before anything else, the door swung open and Miss Cha Cha's whispering voice was coming into the room. God, how I'd missed it. Oh, god.

I was crying again, but I didn't want them to see that. They- what if they had a good time? What was I doing ruining that time? Ruining everything. The face of my Mama flashed in front of my eyes, her twisted, angry, ugly face. So in a rage. My hand went up to my face, and felt the bruise pulse on my cheek. It might be a shiner. My own Mama maybe gave me a shiner. Imagine that. I was at a loss for words. Too reminded, all at once.

"I'll help you out of those clothes. I know you're tired," Miss Cha Cha was whispering to Georgina. They were holding hands in the hallway as Miss Cha Cha closed the door. Holding hands, like old girlfriends. It made more tears roll. Ambrose's face flashed in my mind. Ambrose. His smile. I wanted Ambrose... He cared about me like that. He'd have helped me out my clothes, cursing my Mama the whole time. He might have even tried to make me laugh. Ambrose...

"Let me turn on the light. I bet Ruiz is asleep."

"Miss Cha Cha," I whispered, pressing my lips together, trying not to sob it out. I couldn't do this. Why was I doing this? I didn't want to ruin her day, too. I was ruining everything again. Why was I saying her name?

"Ruiz? You're awake?" Her surprised voice.

"Y-yeah-" My bruise hurt as I scrunched up my face. My hands went over my eyes, trying to cover this childish response. I was being a child. A horrible person again.

"Huh? Ruiz?"

I felt her weight on the floor in front of me. Her warm hand was on my wrist, peeling my fingers away from my face. Her gasp was all I needed to burst into the crying I'd held back all day. That shock, that shame. Everything. She was here now, and- Ambrose's face flashed in front of my closed eyes again, him saying something from what seemed like so long ago, Miss Cha Cha is the closest I've ever had to a Mom. Miss Cha Cha was- It happening too fast.

My body was rocking back and forth, my hands pressed against my front in a strange prayer position, my fists against each other. I shook my head. I didn't want to open my eyes.

"Dios mio, oh honey, your face... Your face..." The tips of her fingers gently brushed my cheek, making me clench my teeth, tears burning. "Oh no, darling, what happened? What happened?"

My eyes opened as she embraced me. She was kneeled on the floor in front of me, hugging me and rocking with me. "Honey, you're shaking, you're shaking... What happened? What happened?"

A weight appeared next to me, pressed against me on the couch. Another gentle embrace appeared around my shoulders. Georgina. She was hugging me, too. The rocking stopped and Miss Cha Cha looked at me, her face so sad. I didn't want that.

"I don't want th-this," I stuttered, almost collapsing on myself but Georgina held me in place. I didn't want to knock her over, too. Her soft hair brushed my cheek, sending a ripple through my body like nails on a chalkboard, over so quick. Her hair had touched my bruise.

"Don't want what? Sweetie, you can tell me. You can tell us. Who hurt you? Who..." I could see the panic skating in Miss Cha Cha's eyes. Her worry. So different from my Mama. My eyes pinched a little bit, my bruise throbbed as the blood rushed to my head because of my crying.

"My Mama," I whispered, wanting to cover my mouth. Look what I was doing. I was ruining their day. They should go to bed. They'd been out so-

Miss Cha Cha was silent. She looked at the floor. Her face. It was such a sad look, her mouth slightly open, her eyes downcast. She looked broken.

"Your Mama did that? What- I thought-" She pressed her lips together. Her eyebrows creased, an indentation in the middle.

"What am I gonna do?" I whispered. My hands went over my face again. I didn't want them to see me, but they'd already seen me.

"I don't know, honey."

"What- what am I gonna do?" Tears were wetting my fingers again.

"I don't know." Her arms went around me again. I sobbed quietly into my hands, her head against my forearms, her arms hugging me tight. Like a mom should. A mom-

"She's not-" Ambrose's voice in my brain, telling me. "She's not my Mama."

Miss Cha Cha's warm weight on me. Georgina hugging me so gently, without a word. Love, without a word.