Broken and Torn

Chapter 1

"Sometimes it is better to be alone, because no one can hurt you."

Jessica's POV

My alarm clock goes off and with an annoyed groan I lazily stretch my hand from under my warm bed covers to switch it off.

Slowly getting out of bed I head to my bathroom which is connected to my bedroom (luckily), and strip off my pyjamas. I get into the shower and allow the warm water to remove the tension from my shoulders and revitalise me.

The bathroom is full of steam when I step out of the shower, my hands instantly shoot out to the mirror to wipe the steam off of it so I am able see my reflection. My dark brown hair with streaks of light brown in it is curly yet a bit damp and stuck to my caramel skin. My eyes are a deep emerald colour, full plump pink lips and a button-like nose. Tiny freckles scattered around my nose and below my eyes.

Finally walking out of the bathroom with a white towel wrapped around my body, I walk over to my closet to pick out my outfit for the day.

I decide to go with a with a simple outfit which is literally the only word I can use to describe not only my fashion sense but my life in general. Simple. I throw on black skinny jeans, a loose grey tank top and my white converses. I hardly ever wear any make-up and today is no different.

My hair stays in its wild  curls, taking  my black back bag from the floor, I head downstairs to the kitchen for breakfast. Glancing over the huge golden clock hung on the staircase wall, I realise that I still have 25 minutes to spare before the school bus arrives at 07:00am.

My house is actually quite nice and inviting. Family pictures hang loosely on the walls, the living room consists of a black flat-screen TV along with a brown TV stand and brown leather couches with black and white cushions scattered on them, a coffee table in the middle of the room, a fireplace and two large orange vases on the corners of the room. There's a total of three bedrooms and bathrooms in the house which are all upstairs- one belonging to me, the main bedroom is my mother's and the third one is the guest bedroom which is hardly ever used. The kitchen is actually the most colourful room in the entire house. There's a bar table with green cupboards at the bottom and stools surrounding it. The rest of the drawers in the kitchen are wooden and painted in different rainbow colours by my mom herslf when we moved to Green Wood two years ago. There's also weird red hanging lights in the shape of cones.

"Hey sweety," my mom greets as soon as she sees me walk into the kitchen. She's busy baking vanilla muffins which smell amazing and look delicious, I instantly lick my lips. "Morning mom" I give her a peck on the cheek, she loves it when I do that or show affection to her in anyway since... "I'm so sorry sweety but you are going to have to eat cereal for breakfast today, I have an urgent order to finish and deliver before noon." My mom interrupts my thoughts.

"Sure thing, do we still have Cheerios?" I ask my mom, "I don't think so but I'll remember to buy them when I get the chance to go grocery shopping later on today."

I guess I'll be having some of the chocolate cookies my mom baked last night with some coffee. I sit on one of the stools and eat my breakfast in silence whilst my mom continues mixing ingredients and humming to some classic song.

I leave the house a few minutes later after shouting a quick goodbye to my mom from the door. I'm lucky enough to reach the bus stop just in time as the school bus arrives. As every other day, I take my seat at one of the front window seats alone.

I am what people describe as a loner. No friends. No best friend to tell all my secrets to or talk about boys with. No boyfriend to daydream about while in class. Nop. I am just a loner, by myself, with myself, all the time. And the good thing is I am perfectly fine with that. Who needs friends anyway? All they do is betray you in the end just like everybody else does or worse: they leave. They pretend to care when they really have vindictive motives in mind.

I get off the bus with one thought in mind 'Time to get through another day in hell.'

Senior year, one more year and I'll be out of here. Away from the mocking glances and whispers.

'Greenwood High School' It's very hard to miss the obnoxious board with the school name and logo. 'Home of the Roaring Lions' The school colours being orange and blue.

Greenwood High  is just like any other typical, cliqued high school- you have jocks your huddled together on one of the outside benches on the grass, stunning cheerleaders with their 'ever-so-lovely' attitudes (note the sarcasm) and your nerds with their noses buried in books, loners who usually hang out at the more secluded parts of the school smoking or just chilling by themselves.

And where do I fit in all of this? Well, I'm more of a loner and a nerd. Spending all my free periods and break time in the school library, but sometimes I chill by my special spot on the... "watch where you're going freak!" Bethany AKA Greenwood's queen bee says after I accidentally bump into her in the hallway.
Along with a disgusted snarl, Bethany looks at me expectantly "What?" I say to her with my eyebrows raised too.

"Well aren't you going to apologise?" She replies after laying her hand on her hip.

"Uhmm..." I say pretending to think, with my right thumb tapping my temple, "how about no?" I finish off.

Bethany probably sees it as better to to let it go as all she says is: "oh just shut up already." She walks away with a sway of her hips and her heels making a loud clacking on the school tiles. Poor tiles.

'Its okay. You are okay. Its okay. You are okay.' I repeat this mantra in my head to calm my nerves before opening my blue metal locker to retrieve my English books for first period.

The rest of the school day goes by swiftly- the only sad part being that I had no Art today because our art teacher, Miss Lesley didn't come in today.

**********

Dear  Diary

Today  wasn't  that  bad  actually,  except  for  when  I had  a  bit  of  an  'altercation'  with  Bethany  in  the  hallway.
I'm  currently  sitting  on  my  bed,  struggling  to  fall asleep  as  always.  Over-thinking  of  what  should have  been  or  what  could  have. been.  It  is  said  that over-thinking  ruins you.  Ruins  the  situation,  twists things  around,  makes  you  worry  and  just  makes things  much  worse  than  there  actually  are.  But funny  enough  the  scenarios  that  I  make  up  in  my mind  are  much  better  than  my  reality.

Till next time,
The Broken Girl.