nineteen (Jonathan Toews)

nineteen

"How much longer until we get there?" I yawned, my head resting on Jon's shoulder.

"We probably have another hour," he responded, checking his watch.

We were currently with the team on the plane to Washington for the Winter Classic. I was beyond excited, this would be the first outdoor game I've attended.

I closed my eyes and tried to get some more sleep. I was just about to drift off when I felt something cold and wet hit the side of my face.

My eyes shot open and scanned my surroundings for the culprit. They landed on Patrick Sharp, who was looking around innocently. The grin tugging at his lips gave him away, however.

I narrowed my eyes and looked by my feet to see a spitball sitting there. I noticed Sharpy had a straw on the tray table in front of him and I rolled my eyes. Of course it was him.

I grabbed the straw from my drink and used pieces of a napkin to get him back. I blew through the straw and saw the white paper hit his cheek. I pretended I was still sleeping for a couple minutes before checking to see if he noticed.

Sharpy was staring straight at me with a playful glare. I snickered and grabbed my book from my bag, starting to read.

The rest of the plane ride went by without Patrick retaliating, which instantly made me suspicious. He would definitely try to pull something once we got off the plane; he always had to have the last laugh.

I closed my eyes again and passed out for the remaining minutes of the plane ride. Soon enough, Jonathan was shaking me awake. "Alex, wake up. We're here," he said softly as he nudged my shoulder.

I blinked a few times and looked around. "Finally!"

We all got off the plane and headed to the hotel. It was only 7 at night but it was already pitch black and freezing due to the winter weather here in Washington. I grabbed my bag and quickly followed the guys inside to get out of the frigid air.

After getting our room assignments we all split up. Some of the staff wanted to settle in and just order room service, while others wanted to go out and look around for a bit. I headed down to Jon and Pat's room to see what they were doing.

"Alex is here!" I heard Pat yell to Jon as he opened the door to let me in.

I grinned. "Hey, what's up?"

"Nothing much. I was going to head out to dinner with Seabs, Bicks, Saader, and Shaw. Jon doesn't want to go out so you can come with or stay here with him," Patrick explained.

I noticed he was still in his travel suit, whereas Jonathan and I were both dressed more comfortably. "Well I don't want to go change so I'll stay here with Jon."

Jonathan excused himself to use the restroom so me and Patrick sat down. "So you and Jonny, huh?" He gave me a thumbs up.

My cheeks started to heat up, so I rolled my eyes to distract myself. "No way. It's not like that and you know it," I gave him a pointed look.

"You never know," he shrugged and stood up just as Jonathan returned back to the main living room area. "Well I'm going to head out. No funny business you two!" Patrick yelled as he slammed the door behind him.

Jonathan and I shared a look before bursting out laughing. "He really is something, isn't he?" Jon said.

"Sure is," I agreed. "What do you want to do?"

Jonathan flopped down on the bed next to me. "Can we just order room service and rent a movie?" He asked.

I nodded. "Sounds good to me," I replied while letting out a yawn. "I'm a little tired anyways, I didn't feel like going out."

We ordered room service and while we waited for it to arrive, we searched for movies. After some bickering, we settled on Bridget Jones's Diary.

Not long into the movie there was a knock on the door. "That must be the food." I got up and opened the door. The staff member rolled the tray in and set the food on the table before leaving. "I'm so hungry," I announced as I grabbed my plate of a burger and fries.

Jonathan raised his eyebrows at me as I took a huge bite. He looked at me with a smile on his face and an unreadable look in his eyes. I swallowed my food and asked, "What? Do I have something on my face?"

He shook his head. "No, it's nothing." Jon looked away and we turned our attention back to the movie.

We got through the movie and just sat on the bed, talking for a little bit about home. "When do you think you'll go back and visit?" I asked him.

"Well we have a game against the Jets in February so we'll definitely go home then. But other than that, I don't really know. I guess once the offseason starts," Jonathan sighed.

I shifted so I was facing him. "Isn't it hard being on the road all the time?" I wondered.

"Yeah, at first it was. Now I'm more used to it though. It's weird because Winnipeg isn't my home anymore, it's Chicago. But I'm never in Chicago for longer than a couple weeks at a time so it doesn't really feel like home, you know?" Jonathan vented out loud. "Like I have apartments in Chicago and Winnipeg, but there's not one place that's my actual home anymore."

I thought about what he just said. "I think Winnipeg will always be your home deep down. But Chicago is also your home away from home because everyone knows you're going to be here for your whole career."

He gave me a pointed look. "We don't know that for sure, what if something changes?"

I shook my head at him. "Jonathan, you're one of the best captains this league has ever had. If the Blackhawks ever trade you, I swear I'll give you a million dollars."

"You have a million dollars?"

I rolled my eyes and looked at him. "No you idiot, that's the point. They're most likely never going to trade you, unless you really fuck something up, which is highly unlikely."

Jonathan didn't say anything at first, just gave me a gentle smile. "Thanks, I guess I needed to hear that."

I returned the gesture and said, "No problem." I checked the clock in the room and noticed the time. "It's getting late, I should go. We have to be up early tomorrow."

I got up and slipped my shoes back on so I could go back to my room. I started towards the door, but heard Jonathan's soft voice say, "Wait!" I started to turn back to where Jonathan was standing, but the next thing I knew, his lips were on mine.

I kissed back and automatically wrapped my arms around his neck. I played with the ends of his short hair and felt my stomach doing flips. His huge hands rested on my hips and we kissed for a couple seconds before I realized what was going on.

As much as I didn't want to, I pulled away and stepped back, a look of shock on my face. "Alex, I-"

"Jon, whatever just happened- it shouldn't have," I said, running a hand over my face. Even though I felt that way towards him, there's no telling if he felt that way towards me. Plus, it would be too messy to get involved with Jon romantically. If we broke up, I would lose my best friend since birth.

He didn't meet my eyes but nodded in agreement. "You're right," he muttered. "This was just a mistake."

I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart. "I- I should go." I reached for the doorknob and left Jonathan standing there, looking at the ground.

I quickly made it back to my room and shut the door behind me. I rested my back against the door and bit my lip to prevent the tears from falling, but to no avail.

Jonathan Toews, my best friend, just kissed me. It wasn't even a short kiss either- we both knew what was going on. And for some reason, I wanted to regret it, but I didn't. If anything, my feelings towards Jon were even stronger now. I realized that this is more than just a petty crush.

I tried to sleep but I couldn't get Jonathan off my mind. My mind was going a million miles a minute and I was tossing and turning all night with the thought of what just happened fresh in my head.

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oh SHIT BOI LOOK WHAT JUST WENT DOWN YIKES