I couldn't form any words in my mouth even though I wanted to. He looked at me with expectation in his eyes, waiting for my reaction but I only stood there with my mouth slightly open, still processing his words.
"Why?" I managed to mumble without even realising it.
"I'm tired of this." Tears started forming in my eyes as I couldn't (or didn't want to) understand what was going on.
"Can't you see? I'm tired of being your 'friend'. I'm tired of seeing your beautiful face every single day and all I can do is give you a friendly hug. I'm tired of not being able to make your heart flutter, of not being able to kiss you whenever I want or cuddle you at night because you called me at 3am saying that you can't sleep. I'm tired of not being able to say 'I love you' without you taking it seriously or saying it back. I can't stand being just your friend."
Yes, he was still expecting me to say something but I suddenly forgot how to talk. All I did was stare at him with my mouth still open and my lips getting dry. The 'give up' expression appeared on Jackson's face which was something I never thought I'd see.
"Forget it." He said and walked away, leaving me standing there, looking at the ground, completely lost.
Even after I returned home, Jackson was still on my mind, making me forget everything, even to feed myself. I sat on my bed, looking at the wall in from of me. Funny how now that I can see, all I look at is a plain white wall.
At night, I couldn't sleep for he was still on my mind. Everything that happened today. His cold and distant attitude, his confession but what was killing me the most, was his expression after he didn't get any reaction from me. Stupid me.
I picked up my phone and looked at the time.
3am.
I can't lose someone as special as Jackson. No way.
Maybe I was being stupid but maybe this was what I really wanted.
Opening my contacts, I searched for Jackson's name, hesitating at first but finally pressing the green button.
The phone let out a few slightly loud rings before he picked up.
"Hello?"
I was quiet for a while, expecting him to hang up on me but he was waiting patiently until I spoke up.
"Jackson, I can't sleep."
