Save Mikey Way

6~

Mikey.

Elena found the blood from last night's attempt all over my carpet and bed.

She wasn't happy about it.

She called Gerard this morning as soon as she saw and he was here im five minutes.

I haven't told him that I've tried to kill myself again so that was huge news to him.

He was shouting while sobbing and telling me that I could have died. He called me selfish because I didn't think about the aftermath it would cause other people.

But it would only make everyone's life better, doesn't he get it?

He made me show him the cuts and after he saw without a second word, he dragged me to his car and rushed me to the hospital for stitches.

It wasn't that bad, I've done much worse, but apparently it was for him and the doctors who suggested I stayed at the hospital's department for suicidal teens.

Gerard went pale at the thought and made up and excuse, as well as promised to look after me more carefully and after having to ring Elena to come over and sign some papers, we were  free to go.

I didn't go to school for the next three days and Gerard didn't leave my side, except for when he was at school.

They didn't let me lock the bathroom door, nor mine.

When I got back to school, Ray and Frank were hugging me and wishing me well, while Pete threatened to tell his jock friends about my cutting if I ever tried that again, as it would label him as the guy who dated the suicidal freak.

I'm guessing Elena told some of my teachers because when I walked in late in three of my classes due to a nose bleed and gut pain, they gave me an apologetic smile and motioned me to sit down.

At least I've lost around three more kilos, starving my way to death.
I'm wearing baggy clothes and drink loads of water to prevent me from getting hungrier, so when Gerard asks, I eat a few bites of something and quietly make myself sick while fake running the shower.

Today I fainted in PE but thankfully I told the coach I was a bit sick all day so there was no need to inform Gerard.

Just two more weeks of having to face school and then I can peacefully cry for three months in my room while everyon else enjoys their summer holiday.