Meum Miraculum

Chapter 40

"Eros too didn't like that, love is too powerful to be stopped by darkness. It forces its way into every part of you. He was a part of me, and every part of me loved my sister and mother. He hated the fact that we were hurting people like them." Alaricus explains.

"Eventually people began to forget, and to ensure that they forgot I had all records of me burnt. All books mentioning me destroyed. Eventually Wolves became more assimilated into human culture, less primal with the addition of human mates. Soon, I became just a horrific legend, many Wolves though passed down stories to their children, and many still believe them, they still know them. The Alphas especially they all know them, because Alphas are made only by their power, and I'm the biggest threat to it. That book you found, I didn't have the heart to destroy it, it was written during the time I was Alpha King, I'd had it written myself. An accurate recount of what the world used to be like. But even then I couldn't bare to see my part in the story, and I'd ripped it out." Alaricus finishes off softly.

We sit in complete silence for a few moments, my ragged breathing all that is heard throughout the vast library. Tears trail freely down my cheeks. Alaricus sits completely still, as if afraid one move would send me running. His complete statue like stature nearly alarming if it weren't for the shallow rise and fall of his broad chest, and the slight trembles of his lower lip. But they're nearly indecipherable through my blurry vision.

I take in a gasping breath, leaning forward, I cup his jaw in my hands, I raise his face to mine. His bloodshot honey eyes meet mine, and he looks so broken so vulnerable that I can't breathe. My heart seems to stop in my very chest as my eyes meet the ones of the man that the foolish organ seems to beat for.

I lean closer to him, resting my forehead on his, I let my eyes fall shut, the tears falling freely. A choked sob escapes him and my eyes open to look at him on their own accord. The deep ancient sorrow that fills them, the raw pain, makes my throat go dry. I let my body control my actions as my lips touch his plump parted trembling ones. The heat of them against my own, breathing warmth into me.

"I'm not leaving you." I say quietly and he bites his lip, pulling away from my lips, tears running freely down his face and he reaches for me. My body tenses as his arms wrap around my waist, despite how much I crave his heat, crave for him to hold me close. To get lost in his large safe arms. I can't. My body completely tenses in his hold against its will. Every muscle begs to relax, to uncoil, unravel beneath the warmth of his touch. Every part of me recognizing him as ours, but I can't. Not for the sake of my sanity.

"I'm so sorry about your family." I say quietly my hand pressed against his chest to keep him from coming closer. His hands form clenched fists on the sides of my waist, as he fights down the urge to grab me and pull me to him. He looks so very broken, so in need of comforting, for someone to just hold him. To tell him it was all over, and that he was safe now. Safe from the ghost of his past, safe from the fear that had been left behind by time. Time could heal only flesh wounds, it was love that filled the cracks and rips of internal pain.

His whole body trembles with the effort to keep from pulling me to him, and I can't take it anymore. My chest aches as I see the raw pain that's displayed so clearly within his eyes, he's been suppressing it for years and only now allowed it to surface. I can feel him nearly quake with fear, a man afraid of his own past. A man afraid of himself, afraid that his own identity would send the woman he loves running.

Pushing his outstretched arms away I sink into his lap. My body moulding into him and a sigh of relief leaves him, as he inhales deeply. As if only now able to breathe. I couldn't allow him to be in pain any longer, it hurt me too.