Meum Miraculum

Chapter 22

The drops of water slowly trailed down the window, eventually completely disappearing and in my disgruntled state they were absolutely mesmerizing. I was probably one hell of a view right now teary red eyes, lashes wet, cheeks streaked with tears, my chocolate brown hair was a mess from running my hands through, my gaze melancholy as I stared transfixed out the window, wearing a large sweater and tights that made my petite form look even smaller as I sat curled up on myself on the small cushioned window seat. I hadn't noticed it before but I had lose weight while staying here, my appetite was beginning to fade, or maybe it was because I spent most of the day drinking tea.

Alaricus' pained expression was all I saw every time I closed my eyes, it was impossible to rid myself of the image no matter how much I tried. I had been too harsh it wasn't his fault I was his mate, and I'm quite sure I'm not the only one disappointed with the fated arrangement, perhaps I could convince him to find someone better, someone fit to be the king's queen. He was a powerful man, the most powerful to ever exist and yet he was stuck with a clumsy stubborn mate like me, he was bound to be disappointed it couldn't be too hard to convince him to find a woman worthy of his companionship.

He was powerful, had more money then anyone would know what to do with, was certainly easy on the eyes, and the best of all he was sweet, he was a gentleman, the type of man who would praise your beauty even when you were wrinkled and old, isn't that what every woman wanted. But his reputation would make it difficult, I had seen him be sweet, but rumours of his past surrounded us as we grew, all evidence of his past had been erased but some stories were passed from generation to generation, I being a mere human knew nothing of it, but my friends who spoke to wolves had heard, and they refused to repeat them to me.

But I could convince them he was better, truly he just had to pick a woman spend just a few days with her and she would be his. Any woman would want him if they got to know him, all of the women I knew craved for a man like this, but I was my father's daughter always turning my nose at the idea of a man falling in love at first sight, falling so deep in love that he would be ready to lay his life for you the second he looked into your eyes, I had grown up hearing the lovely tale of the slow sweet way my parents had fallen in love. That was the way that I wanted to, that deep bond and trust was what I wanted they seemed to know exactly what the other was going to say before they said it, and neither of them ever got possessive or overly jealous the way wolf pairs did, because my parents trusted one another, they trusted their bond, knew the other couldn't even think of such a thing, that was exactly what I wanted.

It was highly unfortunate for Alaricus that he had gotten stuck with the one girl who didn't care for the mate bond, out of the millions who did.

I would have to speak with him about this, I had to stop crying, Alaricus could do better then me and he deserved to know.

I got up from my seat, wobbling slightly on my legs that had long fallen asleep, I slowly walked my way to the washroom, splashing some water on my face, I had to speak to Alaricus, I had to do it now.

Walking out of my room, I hesitantly made my way to his, I probably looked like a mess and he was most likely still angry over my outburst, but I couldn't wait I was starting to feel hope again, I couldn't let it pass.

I knocked softly on his door waiting for him to open the door, holding my breath, the door swung open and I nearly collapsed upon seeing him, not realizing I had held my breath for so long.

Alaricus stared at me, shock clear on his face before he composed himself again his face now once again calm, but the storm of pain and something I couldn't recognize in his eyes making me bite my lip as the guilt overwhelmed me.

"C-can I come in?" I ask him softly and he merely nods, backing up allowing me to walk in.

I looked around not exactly sure where to start, until he spoke, his deep husky voice making me jump as it interrupted the completely silent room.

"What's wrong Amara?" He asked taking a step towards me, and my heart sunk even after my tantrum he still cared, but that would go away all the affection and care would be transferred to the other woman.

"I wanted to talk to you." I said turning towards him my breath hitching as I caught sight of a crashed table, and I looked up at him my eyes widening as I looked into his eyes. His once soft hazel eyes, were now sharp, the gold in them much more pronounced, making him look much more destructive and dangerous then he usually did around me. His hair was in a disarray apparently I hadn't been the only one with messy hair, but his only added to his dangerous aura while mine made me look like a lost kitten.

He took a step towards me, his eyes held me in their beautiful trance, not letting me step away from him as he made his way towards me slowly, his eyes a brewing storm, though his face was calm, the sound of my rushing heartbeat in my ears, all I could hear. I now realized what the other emotion was, it was frustration he was frustrated with me, he didn't know what to do with me, I confused him.

My fists clenched tightly, but it seemed I had dug my nails in far too deep for the soft warm sting of blood appearing on my skin, had me snapping out of my trance but he was only a step away now, and I jumped back from him, and he allowed it.
"What did you want to talk about love?" He asked his voice not as soft as gentle it sounded dangerous so calm, but as if he was suppressing something.

"A-about us." I stutter out stupidly.

"What about us?" He says taking a small step closer, making my fast heart rate increase even further.

"Well you really, y-ou could do s-so much better, I'm merely a human you could find someone powerful to be your queen." I say, immediately regretting it as I see his eyes flash dangerously.
"But that's the thing my love I'm not a king." He says his voice strong and deep, a near contradiction to his words, closing the space between us he wraps his arms around my waist, his grip tight but even in his melancholy state gentle, he presses me against his firm broad chest, gazing down at me. His large warm hand coming up to tenderly stroke the side of my face, causing my breath to hitch in my throat. His eyes trailed over my face, almost lovingly but in his melancholy state it appeared more possessive.

"I don't need a queen." He tells me and I nod hypnotized by him.
"Then what do you need?" I ask softly my words coming out before I could think about them.
"You." He says and my knees threaten to buckle under me, his arm the only thing keeping me up as my body fills with fear, the need to get away ringing strongly in my mind, but I couldn't not now, he wouldn't let it, I had chosen the wrong time to speak to him, to speak to the king, and I was going to pay for my mistake.