How to Date a Nerd

Chapter 15 - How to Make a Truce with a Baby Cow

“Now where were we?” I murmured sitting down. Again, I picked up the music composition notebook. I almost fell from my seat when I heard Jer’s shrill screams from the speaker phones on the side table.

“Jeremiah… I’m… coming,” Sarah mumbled, tossing groggily on her bed. “I’m going to… rescue you…”

I pushed her back to bed. “Go to sleep, Sarah. I’ll rescue Jer.” From evil spirits, I smirked.

First of all, I’d no idea what I was thinking when I informally volunteered to be a babysitter. So when my nineteen-point-five pounder future brother in law and I met eye to eye, I didn’t really know what to expect. After two seconds of gawking at me, Jer started screaming angrily again. Seriously. It got me thinking if this was all he’d ever do. Feverishly, I placed the composition notebook I was holding on a chair—I didn’t realize I took it with me.

I can do this. I CAN do this! Okay… Maybe I can’t.

Clenching my teeth, I took Jer from his crib and set him on the changing table. The little devil thrashed and screeched at me. My eardrums were almost killed in action. Carefully, I removed the tapes of his diaper, bracing myself for the little surprise inside.

For once in my life, I hyperventilated. Flinching, I peeked in and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw nothing in there. But just to be sure, I changed his diaper anyway. I just hoped I fastened the right tapes on the right places.

“Alright, Jer. You’re okay now,” I said as I set him back on the crib.

He was just silent. And staring at me for like two seconds with big blue-gray eyes and an innocent look. After that, all hell broke loose again as the demon-baby wailed and screamed “Moo!!!”

“Look. Jer. I don’t really speak gibberish… or cow. So if you could just stop busting my eardrums. So I can think and give you what you want. Please,” I said trying to sound diplomatic but I was just panicking.

“Moo?” he cooed.

Before I could hit my head on the wall, I took a deep breath. “Alright. Alright. What do you want?”

“Moo!!!”

Seriously, that was the only thing he could say at eight months. The thing was, I’d no idea whatever that meant. Maybe it was a secret call to his smelly cow friends for backup. What were they planning to do? Trample me to death and squirt milk-guns all over me? Wait.

“Okay…” I messed my hair up. “Wait here.”

Did a mad dash to the kitchen. Reached the fridge. Ah, found it! Just what I needed. Please let this be it. I popped the bottle of milk in the microwave for fifteen seconds. I could already hear Jer’s screams from upstairs. It occurred to me that maybe I’d need an exorcist rather than a feeding bottle.

“Ow! Ow!” The bottle almost burned my hands when I picked it up straight from the microwave. I ran to the faucet and ran cold water all over them along with the bottle. I raced back to Jer’s room panting. “Okay, kiddo. Here you go.”

He snatched the bottle from me and started sucking. So that was what moo! meant. Oh, so now he was thinking he was a baby cow? Catching my breath, I picked up the notebook and sunk tiredly on the seat. At last, some peace and quiet.

“Oh… You like that, don’t you?” I snorted, making a face at him before flipping the pages of the notebook.

Dear Winfred,

I think I’m at this time undoubtedly, illogically and unfathomably in love with Leon Walden… Which is bad. Very bad, indeed.

I know. I’m too young to say these things. You’d probably say that it’s probably just a crush or infatuation but it’s way deeper than that. I found it horrifying to arrive to the realization that I couldn’t imagine a future without him anymore. This is when things start to turn out for the worst, doesn’t it? Tomorrow I’d probably say I couldn’t live without him.