Borderline | #WATTYS2017

Chapter eight-teen

I want to apologize in advance for the time skips, you'll see why they happen in the book so often in a little while. Also it would mean a lot if you voted and commented on my book. Just for feedback, thank you.

Celeste

It's been about a month since Ivan went to jail. We moved to California about a week ago, it's been really nice so far. I remember the day Jaxon told me we were moving. He told me that while I was gone he was saving up a house to move to California and that's why he started working as a cop, and that we needed to get out so fast because he wanted me out of New York before the trial started.

It set me off though, not what he said but how he acted when he said it. He seemed off, he was looking at his feel and he was biting his nails as he was talking. It was weird, but I let it go because it was clear that he didn't want to talk much further about it.

The house is beautiful. It's more of a modern house but it's still amazing. Here's four bedrooms and there's an in ground pool in the back yard. We have our room since Jaxon and I share a room now, a guest bedroom an office and an empty room.

He said that the empty room could be turned into something one day and as he said this I pictured it as a nursery. I don't know why but the thought of Jaxon and I ending up together still made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I thought that I was over him by now but I don't think I ever stopped having feelings for him. Maybe I'm just craving for his attention, or maybe I just want affection. He'll never feel the same way so what's the point.

"Celeste what are you thinking about?" Jaxon asked me and I snapped out of my daze. I looked at him and smiled as his face turned from worried to happiness.

"Oh just how wonderful California is" I told him and he laughed a little.

"You seem much happier here, that's for sure" he told me and I nodded. I was happier here, I felt free. I still had my moments though. Like when Jaxon set the groceries down the one day a little too hard I asked him what was wrong. Or when he gets annoyed at something I'm afraid to comfort him. When he's drinking with his friend I think his name is Wes, I get afraid that he's going to get drunk and get angry at me. I just have my moments.

His friend Wes acts weird around me, he stares at me as if he knows me. Wes has a daughter too, her name is Rosella. I call her Rose, she looks a little like me and she's two years older than I am. Wes and I have the same eyes and hair color but not the same face. Rose and I, we look like twins and honestly it freaks me out a little bit. Did my parents have another kid before me that I don't know about? I would ask them but we are no longer in contact sadly.

I just feel like something is missing in my life, like it's a puzzle and there's just a piece missing. I wish I knew why I felt this way but I have no clue. I just want to know why I feel how I do. Why I act nothing like my parents and why they always treated me so bad.

"Celeste, Wes is going to come over tomorrow and he's bringing the rest of his family" Jaxon told me and I nodded.

"Who all is he bringing?" I asked him and he looked up at the fan for a second before he looked back at me and answered.

"He's bringing his wife, his brother and his sister and his parents, and Rosella and his son Tate" Jaxon told me and I looked at him, that's so many people. I'll be lucky if I don't have an anxiety attack within the first hour. "I know what you're thinking but I think you'll be alright" Jaxon calmed me and I sighed. Maybe he's right, maybe it'll be okay.

"But what if it's not okay Jaxon, what if I freak out and panic because o-"

"No one is going to hurt you there, I promise" He told me as he came closer to me. We were so close that I could feel his breath hitting my face. He looked into my eyes as if he was trying to see into my soul. I wanted to kiss him, I desperately wanted to kiss him, but I didn't want things to end up like they did last time. I don't want that to ever happen to me again.

"Jaxon" I told him and he put his hands on my waist. I started to calm down a little as I put my hands on his shoulders.

"Celeste, if you feel uncomfortable stop me" He told me and I shook my head. I wasn't uncomfortable in the least bit. In fact I never felt more comfortable in my life, I felt safe, I felt like I was finally somewhere that no one would try to hurt me.

 He leaned down and he kissed me. When he kissed me I could feel the urgency, I could feel the love, power, emotion and happiness with this kiss. It was the best kiss I was ever given. I kissed him like he was the only person on the planet and he kissed me back just as equally. I felt so alive, I felt at peace with the world and that nothing could ever make this feeling go away. He started backing up to the wall and he lifted me up by my legs and wrapped my legs around his waist.

He put me up against the wall and started kissing my neck and I put my hands in his hair as he did this. He started kissing my lips again with desperateness and such urgency that it made me feel excited for what was going to come next. We kept kissing and he set my feet back down on the ground and he started pecking at my lips as the kiss came to an end.

"Celeste, will you go out with me?" He asked when we finally stopped and I looked at him.

"Wh-What?" I asked and his face turned white. "I mean if you're being serious, then of course I will. I'll be your girlfriend"

He smiled and picked me up and spun around. I laughed and started to try to wiggle out of his grip. He put me down and then looked at the time. I looked at the clock on the wall and it was 9:33 p.m. and I looked at him.

"Are you tired?" He asked me and I shook my head. I looked at me as his eyes lit up. "I have an idea" He told me and I gave him a peculiar look.

"What is it?" I asked and he started removing all of his clothes. I started to panic and run to the other room before he ran and stopped me.

"Don't worry, we aren't going to do anything, we are going to go skinny dipping in the pool outback" He told me and I laughed. It seemed good enough. After we took off all of our clothes we raced to the pool and jumped in.

We stayed in there, making out, splashing each other, relaxing and racing in the water for the rest of the night.

I think for once in my life I felt at peace with my self. Let me tell you it felt pretty damn good.